A Daddies First Miscarriage and the Feelings that came with it

I have been a dad for 13 1/2 long years now.  LOL   Don’t let that fool you that I ain’t happy.  I am extremely happy and I love my kids.   I have 3 wonderful kids now and I’m proud of all of them in different ways.

My wife and I want one more child.  We got pregnant about 4 months ago and we were both excited.  I was excited but I don’t believe that my wife thought so.  I just get excited in a different way because while I’m excited, I am also full of worry. Worrying about bills and that we need a new car (mini-van) and that we would have 4 kids in a 3 bedroom house.   There was so much going on in my head!

My wife wasn’t feeling right and she went to her doctor.  I got the phone call from her and all I heard was sobbing.  I KNEW something was wrong but I didn’t know exactly what.  She eventually told me that we lost the baby.  We had a miscarriage and my heart just fell.  I wasn’t even with her to hold her!

When she got home we both cried.  We couldn’t believe it.  Why did this happen?  What caused it?  Could we have done something, anything so this didn’t happen???  The doctor told us that this happens sometimes.  It’s no ones fault.  The doctor also said something about a blood clotting disorder that is brought on by a previous pregnancy and she said that this is getting fairly common.  If it’s getting fairly common, then why don’t doctors check pregnant women when they are first pregnant?

Anyway, my wife had to have 2 D&C’s done because the first one wasn’t done correctly.  I felt so horrible for my wife.  I could only imagine what she was going through.  But, I had to be strong, I NEEDED to be strong for her, a shoulder to cry on.  I did what I could and can only hope that it was enough for her.

It has been alittle over 2 weeks since the last D&C and she is finally getting “better”, if you can say that.  We won’t forget our little “peanut”.  We hadn’t named him/her yet, but we will NEVER forget!

 

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6 thoughts on “A Daddies First Miscarriage and the Feelings that came with it

  1. Things always happen for a reason and I do feel for you and your wife. I remember the time when my mother cried to me and said that I may no longer see my youngest sister when she suffered sickness while she is still pregnant with her. When I look at my father he is just silent and intently looking at my mother. Daddies may not be as showy with their feelings like our mothers but it doesn’t mean that they don’t love their kids any less.

  2. First of all, may I just say I’m so very sorry for your loss. A lot of times we fail to acknowledge that the daddy lost someone too.

    I would also like to assure you, that this didn’t happen because of something either of you did, nor could you have prevented it.

    I learned after my own miscarriage, that they are generally because something wasn’t right with the development of the baby- which in such early stages is imperitive to its survival. Not that any of that makes this any less confusing or painful. It just plain doesn’t.

    Again, I’m so very sorry for your family’s loss.

    1. Thank you very much Amanda for your kind words. It was rough, but it was more so for my wife. Things are better now, but we won’t ever forget. We are pregnant again and everything is going great.

      My wife was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, that’s why the baby didn’t make it. The doctor said that this is becoming more and more common. I hope not. We really don’t want more parents to go through this.

      Thanks again.

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