Tag Archives: divorced dads

Single Fatherhood: Taking Care of Them Means Taking Care of Yourself

‘Single father': it is tough to think of two scarier words for a man. There are all kinds of heroes in the world. Fire fighters, police officers, soldiers, doctors: all are heroes. None are any more heroic than single dads. Unfortunately, they do not get the recognition they deserve.

There are responsibilities common to all parents. Being a single dad makes even the most common parenting tasks exponentially more difficult. Some parenting tasks are even tougher for single dads in this society than for single moms. But as difficult as they are, they still have to be done. Here are a few examples:

Take Care of Your Health

A single dad is the lifeline of the family. Parents often prioritize the health of their children over their own. But it is a little like the airline instruction concerning oxygen masks. Place your own mask in position before attempting to help someone else. You have to be healthy and conscious if you are going to have a chance to save anyone else. Saving yourself is not an option. It’s a necessity.

Because you are the lifeline of your family, you have to save yourself by doing all of the little things that you might leave undone if you had someone else to count on. Taking care of yourself includes everything from treating that suspicious cough before it turns into a full-blown flu, to using a skin tag remover. The difference between a skin tag and skin cancer is not immediately obvious. By doing what you can to deal with the little things while they are little, frees you up to take care of the kids.

Under the best of circumstances, dads are terrible when it comes to taking care of themselves. They eat poorly, exercise poorly, and develop a poor work/life balance. They tend to rely on others to remind them of their health. Single dads have to do a better job of taking care of their own health.

Ask for Help

If there is one thing men are notoriously bad at, it is asking for help when they need it. This is likely an evolutionary trait that was once extremely useful, but is now a detriment. It is not hard to imagine that a show of weakness in a tribal situation was bad for finding a good mate, and rising through the ranks of leadership.

But today, we recognize a show of vulnerability as a show of humanity. Not asking for help is viewed as a sign of arrogance, even foolishness. There is no shame in being a stay-at-home dad. Whether it be from parents, coworkers, or professional nannies, single dads need the same help as single moms. They just have to learn to ask for it.

Live a Simpler Life

There are two ways do deal with challenging life circumstances when resources are limited: The first choice is the most popular. Find a way to make more money. We are convinced that we can solve just about any problem with enough money. The second option is the road less traveled. Make a conscious decision to live a simpler life.

As a single dad, you always have the option to work more hours and hire someone to raise your kids for you. But in doing so, you miss seeing your kids grow, not to mention the opportunity to guide that growth. You will make enough money, but miss out on the reason you are working.

For context, it would help to see how people live in other parts of the world. They make less money, live in smaller homes, and still find a way to put family first. Making an intentional choice to live a simpler life is something that everyone should probably consider, especially single parents. It is doable, but the harder choice to make.

There is nothing easy about being a single dad. But you can relieve a lot of the pressure by taking better care of your health, asking for help when you need it, and choosing a simpler lifestyle. To all the single dads who are out there making the hard choices everyday, we salute you.

 

Share

How to Decorate Your Child’s Room So They Can Learn

 

I love decorating the house, particularly my children’s bedrooms. It just transports me back to my childhood and allows me to indulge in all the childish things an adult shouldn’t do and most of all it’s great fun!

When you’re decorating your child’s bedroom, do you ever think about their education? Probably not. I know that didn’t until I heard about how creating the right bedroom could actually help encourage my kids to learn.

A place for everything and everything in its place

Well, firstly, and I was guilty of this, is not to put too much in the room. It’s easy for kids to become overloaded with information, so by kitting out the space with loads of stuff is a bad idea.

Instead, you need to create an organised space that teaches them to respect their belongings and tidy up after themselves. Have a look for unique storage ideas that can make the room look clean and spacious, but also fun. Continue reading How to Decorate Your Child’s Room So They Can Learn

Share

Lisa Belkins’ Post Let Dads Down

good dads

I Love being a dad.  Not just the part about making kids, but the whole “experience”.   I love being “needed” and wanted around.  My children know that I love them, heck, I tell them everyday.  Believe me when I say that, I tell them EVERYDAY.  It’s not something that I have to do, I WANT to do it.

The reason I am saying this?  Years ago, I was married to my ex-wife, a cheater.  I divorced her and fought for custody of my two young boys.  I was awarded custody of them and I have Thanked God ever since then.  I WANTED to be their parent, the one that raised them into being young men and then adult men.  I WANTED to teach them right from wrong, the ins and outs of everyday decision making.  Have I done a good job?  Don’t know.  Some days they make good decisions, some days they don’t.   I guess such as life.  Everybody makes some bad decisions, right? Continue reading Lisa Belkins’ Post Let Dads Down

photo by: Ms. Phoenix
Share

Moving Into a New House After a Divorce – Divorced Dads

Moving into a new house after a divorce or separation can be the first stage in the healing process for divorced dads.  As a divorced dad, your new house can become your retreat and offer you the chance to make new memories with your children.

However, there are several considerations to remember when choosing your first post-split house so it’s important to use your head and your heart, selecting a house that is easy to manage both financially and practically.

Avoid copying your old home

Familiarity can be tempting, but you shouldn’t be pulled into copying your old house. Use the opportunity to move forward, which will be very scary  and sad at times, but should also be exciting as it heralds the start of a new chapter in your life.

 

Location, Location, Location

Staying in the area you know can be comforting, especially if your children are staying with you regularly or for long periods of time – they will have experienced enough changes without having to move schools or make new friends.

However, some divorcees find it too painful to stay close to the old home. If this is the case, then remember to consider schools, shops and transportation routes. Be practical and think about your own commuting time as well as somewhere that has a busy social scene, such as tennis clubs or bowling teams for when you feel ready to move on. Continue reading Moving Into a New House After a Divorce – Divorced Dads

Share

Issues That Arise in a Divorce Relating to Child Custody

With the divorce rate being higher than ever, it is not unusual for a marriage to end when there are children involved. Having kids makes the divorce even more complicated as both parents will be vying for custody. The children are also affected by the divorce and certain issues will arise that everyone who is involved should expect.


Personal Life and Past

• When you are going through a divorce and the issue of child custody is present, you may have to be prepared to fight to get your kids. Keep in mind that certain topics may be brought into the proceedings. This could involve your everyday life, your job and other issues regarding your personal life. If your past has been less than savory, especially if you have a criminal history, you might find yourself in a situation where you are trying to retain your good name to have custody of your children. This is a typical situation to expect if the breakup of your marriage is less than amicable.

Best Interests of the Child

• One thing to always remember is that when you are fighting for child custody during a divorce, the most important thing is to have the best interests of the child at heart. The parent who is deemed as the more stable in terms of employment is usually the one who gains primary custody of the children as they will better be able to financially provide for them. The courts will also take into consideration the child’s living quarters and schooling. Many kids end up staying in the home in which they grew up with the parent who remains in the residence as this may be a more stable environment.

Child Neglect or Abuse

• If there has ever been an issue of child abuse or neglect in either parent, this will be scrutinized during the divorce and heavily examined in determining who gains custody of the children. All children deserve to be raised in an environment in which they can live a healthy and happy life.

Parents’ Health

• Health of the parents is heavily taken into consideration when determining child custody during a divorce. This can include a substance abuse problem or a physical or mental illness. In some states, there are laws that lead to a denial of custody if a parent has a mental illness. With this in mind, any parent who suffers from a mental illness that can be effectively treated with medication should consider seeking treatment.

 

Remember that settling child custody matters quickly and amicably is in the best interest of your kids. You need to fight for your rights as a parent but always be mindful of the effects of the divorce on your children.

 

Guest Post was provided by Arizona Child Custody Lawyer, David Cantor. The Cantor Law Group is an AV rated law firm in Phoenix, AZ. The Cantor Law Group is made up of divorce attorneys in Phoenix that handle all aspects of family law.

 

 

Share