Posts Tagged ‘stay at home dads’
Do you, as a dad, get to help choosing furniture and appliances in your home? I mean, my wife and I both live in the home so dads should be able to help choose what styles of furniture and appliances are in the home. Now most dads just let the wife decide because if most men are like me, we just want our wives to be happy, so we let them choose.
I wonder how stay at home dads handle this? Do they get to choose what types of furniture and appliances that are bought for their home? If so, do they wonder what is the lowest coffee table height or do they just buy what they like best? Curious minds want to know. LOL
When it comes to kitchen appliances the stove is probably the main one. There are so many different places to go purchase one and so many different styles to buy, what do you do? Do you guys just go to google and type in lowes stoves and do some research or do you just go to the stores and look?
It’s the same thing for air conditioners. You can either get a window mounted air conditioner or a central heat and air unit. You could try searching for lowes air conditioners or just like above, go to the store and just see what they have.
The possibilities are endless. Shop online or go to the stores…and there are so many stores to choose from.
So, what do you stay at home dads do, shop online or go to the store.
Well, well. How times have changed. Twenty years ago, the words stay at home dad were whispered with a knowing nod, meaning he’s either unemployed or lazy. Today, it’s becoming more commonplace, so much so that it’s almost an aspiration for many Dads. The chance to spend more time with the kids while they’re growing up is something that increasing numbers of us want – but frazzled moms will tell you that they’d welcome the chance to go back to work!
So how can you get the most out of your stay at home dad experience? Here are five tips for stay at home dads…
- Don’t try to match them for energy
Let’s face it, if your favourite footballers are fading in their mid-30s, you’re not going to suddenly discover brand new reserves of energy yourself. You’ll never match your kids for get-up-and-go, so don’t try! Encourage them to play on their own for periods so that you can at the very least have a cup of joe and sit down for a while. If you’re playing in the back garden with them from morning till bed time, you’ll be hitting the hay before they do. - Do it your way
Mom will no doubt have her own thoughts about how to raise your children, but you’re in charge now. In fact, it may be quite hard for your partner to let go and leave you to ‘get on with it’, but she’ll soon learn to trust your instincts and go with your decisions. So don’t be swayed – you’re the boss! - Work out the finances
Having one parent at home comes with a number of financial consequences, so the best way to work out whether it’s working is to build an excel spreadsheet with your income and expenditure. Add some automated calculations, and you can quickly see the implications of your decisions… remember, not going to work can actually save a lot of money: travel, lunches, suits & ties… it all adds up! - Build yourself a network
What did mom do during her maternity leave? If she’s anything like my partner, she networked herself silly. Singalongs on a Friday morning, coffee mornings, knitting afternoons, play groups… there’s nothing to stop you from doing the same. Your local library is probably the best place to start, and there will be community centres dotted around that have activities almost every day of the week. Not only does it get you out of the house, but it helps you build up a network of people in similar situations. - Get a shed
Every man needs a shed – more so when he’s a stay at home dad. It’s a place to get away from it all, to putter around at the weekend while you’re using up the brownie points you’ve earned throughout the week. It’s Dad’s zone, and Dad’s zone only – so get yourself a shed and use it to get some valuable Dad time.
Above all – this isn’t something that’s going to last forever. Kids grow up quickly… so enjoy it while you can, and figure out a back to work plan sooner rather than later. Oh, and don’t forget the shed.
About the author: Gareth Cartman works with online baby clothes store Little Bundle of Joy, and dreams of being a stay at home Dad
Divorce may be stressful for both parties involved but it can be most stressful on your children. If you are in the process of searching for a family law attorney and you want to prepare your children for the process it is important to keep an open line of communication with them. Before one of the spouses moves out or there are court proceedings you should speak with your children and be honest about what is going to happen in the upcoming months. If you prepare your children before you seek divorce attorneys for men you can help your children deal with the pain of separation early on.
- Always be Honest: If you know divorce is the only practical option, you need to be honest with your children. Children can sense when something is not right between their parents. If you pretend like everything is okay to spare your child’s feelings it may cause more harm than good. Give your children straight-forward answers and do not place any blame when you discuss divorce.
- Tell Your Children it is Not Their Fault: It is common for a child to place blame on themselves when their parents go through a separation. Reassure your children that the divorce is an adult decision and it has nothing to do with their behavior.
- Open Your Ears and Listen: Children will have questions and you should give them an opportunity to ask these questions. Sit quietly and listen to what your child has to say so your child will feel like they are being heard.
- Encourage Your Child to React: Let your child know that is it normal to be upset, sad, or angry. You should encourage them to react and to express their authentic feelings instead of hiding them. Also let them know that it is okay for them to want their parents to be together.
- Spend Time With Your Own Friends: You never want to make your child your confidant, even if your child is a teenager. Spend time with your own friends that you can confide in so you have a supportive network and you can discuss how your child is handling the divorce.
Dealing with children during a divorce can be very overwhelming. For working dads and moms or stay at home dads and moms, you must get past the emotions you are going through and think about how your child feels. Make sure you prepare your children before you find a lawyer defending only moms and dads’ rights and help your little ones better understand divorce so they can cope.
Most experts will stipulate that the most influential relationships children have during their years of development between infancy and young adulthood are with the parents or primary caregivers. Perhaps the importance of a positive male role model during a child’s development has never been more evident than in present day as the social roles of fathers and stay at home dads has changed drastically over the past 30 years.
Whereas in the past being a dad meant little more than providing life’s basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc.), the list of responsibilities and expectations has expanded to encompass many of the emotional and psychological needs of a child, and rightfully so. The well-rounded upbringing of a child should include healthy doses of many types of support from both the mother and father figures in their life. The social redefinition of being a good stay at home dad figure includes the following:
* Financial support – While many women have entered the workforce and more households have two earners, most fathers still view this as their primary responsibility, even if just trying to earn money from home while they are a stay at home dad.
* Emotional support – Boys and girls alike seek feedback and validation as relates to their feelings and actions. It is extremely important that the father figure provide what is sought, or at the very least act as a sounding board engaging the child’s concerns in a caring manner.
* Direction and Moral development – Many of our children’s traits develop very early in life as a direct result of emulating their parents. It is vital that a good father figure not only teach through explanation, but as well through action. Many family units also look for spiritual leadership from the father figure.
For those of you acting as a father figure to a male child, keep in mind that you, as the same sex role model, will have greater influence on his development and future actions than any person with whom he may relate in his lifetime. If you want him to grow to be a “man”, you must develop a clear definition of exactly what that means to you and live your life accordingly. He will learn to walk, talk, act, react and relate to others just as you demonstrate.
Much the same, if you are raising a female child, you are setting an all important precedent of what she should expect from her relationships with men going forward. Although you may not have as much of a direct influence on her behaviour compared to a male child, you will be directly involved in scripting her future interactions and relationships.
Obviously there is a lot of pressure to be a good father figure with the evolution of the role within our society. The lives of our children are very literally dependent upon our actions. Despite these pressures, it is perhaps most important to remember mistakes will happen along the way. Always keep in mind that being candid with children about your mistakes and making steps toward positive resolution is yet another teaching tool which is of great use when taking on the task of being a good father figure.
Tom writes on behalf of DLProg who addresses an important gap in international thinking and policy about the critical role played by leaders, elites and coalitions in the politics of development. Read more about The Leadership Program and the Pacific Leadership Program at DLProg.org.
As a stay at home dad you know first hand how many times a day kids are in perilous situations, just by banging around the house. A playground is meant to be a safe haven, a place where they can run free, without worries, but if not built correctly, the playground can also pose numerous hazards. There are some tips and tricks from stay at home dads, to keep in mind when building a playground that will keep it safe for your children.
Flooring
Let’s start from the bottom up. Many people scrimp here, choosing to use the flooring that’s already in place, whether it’s cement, gravel, blacktop, or some other material. Safe playground flooring material is perhaps the most important feature in ensuring playground safety, because it has the potential to cushion a routine fall, or exacerbate the injury. Gravel, hard packed earth, cement, and materials such as these will make for hard falls, and pose stumbling blocks for kids to trip over.
Grass is better than the above mentioned materials, but the best is rubber mulch playground flooring. Rubber mulch provides extra shock absorbency that cushions falls. While rubber mulch is pricier, it pays for itself within a few years because it is very long lasting, and requires no maintenance. It also requires no complicated installation.
Swing Sets
Swing sets in home playgrounds can be hazardous as manufacturers look to cut corners with less space between swings and weaker supports. For optimum playground safety, there should be no more than two swings on one rod, and you should check for their strength by tugging on the chains or ropes. There also must be adequate space around the swings for another child to walk around it while the swing is in motion. As a general rule, seesaws, swings, and equipment with moving parts should be in a separate area from the rest of the equipment. If space constraints are a problem, consider cutting down on the amount of playground equipment.
Gates
While they aren’t always pretty they’re vital to having a safe playground. Make sure that your playground is encircled with a tall gate that is too high for a child to easily climb over, and that the door has a secure, child-proof latch. Check that there aren’t any sharp sticks or parts that jut out from the gate. Keep the gate in good condition, repairing it as often as needed. For a more aesthetically pleasing option you may want to consider tall bushes as a natural fence. You can also go for wooden lattice-style fences in place of a chain-link fence, just be sure that it is strong and will serve your needs well.
Maintenance
There’s more to a playground than building it. It needs to be constantly checked and repaired. Metal that is getting rusty, wood that is splintering, or ropes that are weakening are all part of the wear and tear of a playground, and they must be repaired. Train your children to let you know if there is something that needs repair in the playground, rather than playing with it.
Building or renovating a playground is always a fun project that generates much excitement, and doing it right will allow you to better enjoy the fruits of your labors.
Bio:
Robert Mason is a parent who loves to get his kids outside to play. He believes that a safe playground with rubber mulch is the only way to keep them safe and happy.