Topic: My childs bad grade is my fault?

[keetedw]

I'm a big fan of learning through play.  Indigenous people learn how to do just about everything through play (some even built little play villages where they mimic everything their parents do).

It also helps keep the older kids more creative because they're interacting with kids that are almost pure imagination.  Blur the lines between grades, cut down on required curriculum and focus on basic skills and real world skills.

I'm still not convinced I've ever used the Pythagorean theorem anywhere but in school.

Finland uses a much more relaxed environment, giving MUCH more control over to the teacher.  Also do some looking into the Sudbury Valley School.  Both incredibly successful, but such an incredibly small percentage of our education happens this way (if at all).

[BigCöx]

Thanks man.   Yes things have changed since we were in school.   I don't think it's all for the best either.  I think they are putting too much on kids now-a-days.  I think kids need more playing time and less algebra.  LOL

as a school teacher I agree whole-heartedly with this - sadly, it's politicians in many cases, often with no educational experience, making decisions about the pace and content of the curriculum in the classroom. I teach Science, and have taught Math, two subjects you don't generally associate with a high degree of creative thinking, but it's something that I really try to encourage when I can and where I can fit it in. There's a HUGE amount of higher-order thinking and cognitive skills that are developed just by "playing."

[joetekken]

My youngest girl is in the 7th grade and she already taking class that give her collage credits in math they do need to slow it down.

[Paul Mckelvey]

my 10yr olds grades have been slipping and she told her teacher the baby was keeping her up at night. Hmm seeing as how the baby has been sleeping all night since she was 3 mos i was pretty mad. turns out she just sits there and stares at her work instead of doing it

[Xerostomia]

My oldest is in 3rd grade. My wife and I have noticed that the 'homework' requirements have been there since 1st grade, daily. Now neither of us remember having any homework till the end of elementry school (save for an occational project), but I do agree that deands on children have gone up, and I do not have a problem with this.

With regards to grades, our children are very attentive and may seem clueless but remember everything they see. They (at least at this age) idolize their parenets, and in particular their dads. If they see you having a beer, they may not say anything about it, but probably secretly want to as well. If they see you watching TV, play video games, they want to as well. They do not understand the concept that you already did your school, and put in your dues. They will just put the blame on you for their failures. Obviously if you have a cabable child, and got bad grades, then either they are distracted (TV, games), or truely needed some help but did not want to ask. I cannot remember doing algebra in elementry school, thus if that is what they are doing, then most likely they will need parental help.

The sad part of it is that all my kids refuse to do their homework, unless my wife or me is next to them and non-stop harrassing them to get the work done. In actual fact, I do believe school work has gotten harder, and as a result, we as parents are forced to help them with all their work. If we do not, then they will struggle and get poor grades. My wife and I have noticed a direct correlation with the amount of time we spend with them and their grades, and it seems to be getting worse every year they advance. In actual fact, my wife blames us (parents) if they do poorly, and I do not deny that there is a least some truth to it. Its like going through elementry school all over again.....

[keetedw]

My little girl has made some attempts at passing blame to other things, but in the end, she's realizing there's no one to blame for this but her.  Doesn't make it any less irritating when she tries, though.

I'm pretty thrilled to hear some schools are teaching more advanced concepts.  As long as there's a healthy balance...in other words, keep the school work in school and don't push kids to do 1-2 hours of homework a night.  I don't quite understand that.

[Ramblin' Dad]

It blows me away that he is in Algebra Keith. As you know he and Jeremy are in the same grade and here they are not teaching Algebra yet. Though they are sneaking in some of the basic fundamentals of it without actually telling them that it is Algebra.

I remember I got into Pre-Algebra in sixth or seventh grade, but at that time it was considered an advanced math class in Junior High.

[Keith]

Thanks man.   Yes things have changed since we were in school.   I don't think it's all for the best either.  I think they are putting too much on kids now-a-days.  I think kids need more playing time and less algebra.  LOL

[Dadof3]

Algebra in 5th grade?  Really?  Wow...sorry...misunderstood!  I have one in kindergarten and two in pre-k, so I guess I have time to start boning up on my math skills (which are desperately lacking).
Good luck to you!

[Keith]

Thanks guys.    He is taking the grounding pretty good.   He isn't challenging me on it either. 

@Dadof3:

It's not that my oldest is advanced, all fifth graders here are in algebra.  I don't think they should be pushing this on kids that age, but hey, what do I know?

Tyler is a very book smart kid.  He just lacks a lot in the "common sense" area.  I get on him all the time on that.   

[Dadof3]

First off, congrats on having such an advanced child.  I had dreams of mine being like that, but now I just hope to keep them out of jail!

Anyway, if he's that smart, a good deal of what he's had to do in the past probably came naturally.  I'm guessing he never really had to work hard to get good grades.  Now, algebra isn't quite as intuitive or logical as other things he's done, so it's a struggle, and he doesn't know how to handle it as well.  So maybe he's frustrated and just lashing out a bit?  I can relate a bit, though not with my kids... I think it's important that he understands that he won't always be perfect, and you don't expect him to be, but that it's not okay to blame others for his difficulties.

I'm sure you knew all that, but I just felt like chiming in.  Plus I don't feel like working anymore today :-)

[Ramblin' Dad]

Jeremy sometimes pulls the same thing. I don't let it slip at all. It's important we as dads teach our kids responsibility because society sure won't. Recently he got marked in class for talking one too many times. I generally let two marks a week go with warnings and let the school discipline handle it and he knows this, well he made three one week and I took his DS and consol privilages away for a week, he started whining how it wasn't his fault it was the other kid's, so I took them away for another week and told him that was for not taking responsibility, he started to get indignant and I asked if he would like to try for another week for arguing. This usually nips it in the bud, and he rarely pushes it farther.

[plano tony]

My kids try - and I go through the steps of "and, who is responsible for X?" - "I am" - "And, who is responsible for Y?" - "I am" - "And, if X and Y are not completed, who was responsible for them?" - "I was" - "So, explain to me how them not getting done is my fault?" ...

And, they run off crying because it's "no fair" ... "Yeah?  Well, life isn't fair!" ... LOL ...because, I'm as immature as they are.

[Aftrthought051]

Oh yeah.  My son is 8 and doing this as well.  Not necessarily exactly as your case, but telling me I never help him when I do his homework w/ him everyday.  It's the way the world is though, blame someone else and even our kids pick up on that.

Damn, I took advanced math and I did Algebra in 8th grade and then got to skip it in 9th grade and go straight to geometry.  5th grade algebra, WTF!!!  Everybody keeps saying that kids are getting dumber w/ each passing generation, but I think it is just that we are holding younger and younger kids to a higher course curriculum than in the past.  Slow it down.  My kid is in 3rd grade and already learning about the three branches of government.  Really??  At this rate you won't have to go to college, b/c college courses will be given in high school.

[Keith]

So I go pick up the kids today from school.   As soon as they get in the car my oldest tells me what he got his mid-term.  He told me that he got a U in math.   Now I don't know if you guys know this or not, but my oldest which is in 5th grade is doing algebra now.  Yes, algebra in 5th grade.  Now it's not too hard but I work with math almost everyday. 

Anyway, I told him that he was grounded from the xbox and Wii until he gets his next report card (4 weeks from now).  He gets mad at me and then tells me it's my fault for watching tv loud at night and waking him up early in the morning.   Can I get a WTF?  That made me so mad!   I told him that he better not be one of those people in life that blame all of their problems on other people and that he needed to take responsibility for that U.   

I told him that the grade better come up on his next report card or he will still be grounded from the consoles and more.

Do your kids do this?  Do they blame stuff on other people when it's their fault?