Topic: Yelling

[Big daddy Eis]

yea Quinn (4 y/o) has started the back talking also.  Driving me nuts.  lol

[z_randy]

my son is 4 and he is doing the back talking.  He's a stubborn one.  Gets it from his mother

[Keith]

i dread the day  he starts backtalking.

It is sooner than you think.       They start young, or at least mine did.

[rob_ferg]

my boy is only 3, but usually just raising my voice is enough.   
otherwise the threat of a swat on the butt, knowing he has until i reach 5 before a swat comes is enough to get him to comply.

i dread the day  he starts backtalking.

[Keith]

I yell at my kids too.   It's not something that I mean to do, it just happens. 

I don't think they learn from it, I think I just scare them.   Now sometimes I yell when I notice that they are getting ready to hurt themselves or someone else.  In that case, I think it's ok to yell.   Sometimes they need some sense yelled into them.

[keetedw]

Yes it is normal.  No it is not productive.  If you feel your temper boiling over, do yourself and them a favour and remove yourself from it for a moment.  "Sit down, don't move, we're going to talk about this in a minute." and step outside, take a few deep breaths and evaluate how best to respond.  Remember to keep it short and on point.  My dad used to ramble on and on when I was in trouble and within about 45 seconds of realizing it was just a calm tirade I tuned out and only listened for key words and phrases.

I couldn't agree more.  I consider myself lucky to figure out that arguing with emotion solves absolutely nothing.  It's incredibly rare for me to raise my voice.

[Big daddy Eis]

I can lose my cool and find myself yelling in certain situations...but yelling at my pre-schooler rarely happens. For me, it's not a constructive method of disciplining kids. I was raised by non-scolding parents, to start with...When I feel that my temper is about to get out of control, I practice 'time out' with myself or with my kid. Like what Bill said, I step outside or I let my kid go to his room, then I talk to him afterwards.

this is something that i am continuing to work on.  I have a tendancy to raise my voice too quickly, too often.  So i need to consciously work on this.

it's the Army Captain in you

so true. 

[z_randy]

I can lose my cool and find myself yelling in certain situations...but yelling at my pre-schooler rarely happens. For me, it's not a constructive method of disciplining kids. I was raised by non-scolding parents, to start with...When I feel that my temper is about to get out of control, I practice 'time out' with myself or with my kid. Like what Bill said, I step outside or I let my kid go to his room, then I talk to him afterwards.

this is something that i am continuing to work on.  I have a tendancy to raise my voice too quickly, too often.  So i need to consciously work on this.

it's the Army Captain in you

[Big daddy Eis]

I can lose my cool and find myself yelling in certain situations...but yelling at my pre-schooler rarely happens. For me, it's not a constructive method of disciplining kids. I was raised by non-scolding parents, to start with...When I feel that my temper is about to get out of control, I practice 'time out' with myself or with my kid. Like what Bill said, I step outside or I let my kid go to his room, then I talk to him afterwards.

this is something that i am continuing to work on.  I have a tendancy to raise my voice too quickly, too often.  So i need to consciously work on this.

[Daddy101]

I can lose my cool and find myself yelling in certain situations...but yelling at my pre-schooler rarely happens. For me, it's not a constructive method of disciplining kids. I was raised by non-scolding parents, to start with...When I feel that my temper is about to get out of control, I practice 'time out' with myself or with my kid. Like what Bill said, I step outside or I let my kid go to his room, then I talk to him afterwards.

[Bill]

Yes it is normal.  No it is not productive.  If you feel your temper boiling over, do yourself and them a favour and remove yourself from it for a moment.  "Sit down, don't move, we're going to talk about this in a minute." and step outside, take a few deep breaths and evaluate how best to respond.  Remember to keep it short and on point.  My dad used to ramble on and on when I was in trouble and within about 45 seconds of realizing it was just a calm tirade I tuned out and only listened for key words and phrases. 

[dadoftwo]

I yell but not to the point of scaring my kids. It's just a form of scolding them when they misbehave or fight with their sibling. I never hit my kids with my bare hands, it's safer for me to yell at them in a mild tone.

[Big daddy Eis]

FYI, it doesn't work well with the wife though.

need to work on that   

[vegaskiller73]

Shoot I yeall at my kids, my wife, my dog and sometimes myself. Seems these days they only hear when the volume is up. It's easier when kids are young, but 10+, I feel a stern voice is what is needed. I don't do it all the time, but after repeatedly correcting or telling them something, the only way they get the hint, is if I raise my voice and seem completely upset.
FYI, it doesn't work well with the wife though.

[Aftrthought051]

I don't yell often, and it doesn't come in waves.  Sometime I do the soft, serious voice of "you've let me down", but occassionally, nothing else is going to do than when I yell.  And so when I do yell, I see the fear I bestow in my kids' eyes.  Since it is something I don't do often, they know it is serious.  I like it this way.  My parents always yelled at me, and then would spank me when it needed to be elevated.  In my case, my yell is the elevation I achieve when they are misbehaving.  Spankings are so rare I can't remember the last time I spanked my child.  I remember it was my daughter, and it was for something she just continued to not do no matter what.  I forgot now, but it's obviously no longer an issue.  So the soft voice and talking to them, yelling when it doesn't work, punishment to room or w/o something, and then the spankings.   

[Some call me Norm]

Thanks guy, its always helps coming here and talking about what is bothering me from time to time.

[Scott H.]

I've yelled at both my boys, usually from a different room or the other side of the room. I usually catch myself if I'm right there in front of them yelling. What I do then is get right in their face, look them in the eye, keep the same intensity in my face and voice, but lower the volume to near a whisper. Seems to have more of an affect on them. It takes work, but I think you'll feel better.

[Big daddy Eis]

i have only had to yell real bad once, and it defitnely caught Quinn by surprise.  A complete deer in the headlights look.  Either i have been lucky, or just gone too much.  We will see how it goes when i go home though.  Its not something i like to do.

[keetedw]

I did for awhile, but learned I had much better success with my kid either lowering my voice (daddy's serious voice) or putting an edge of disappointment on it (not sure how else to explain that one).

I think I've been pretty lucky with my daughter, though.  It's pretty rare I have to tell her anything more than a couple times and if I ask her to do something, she does it.

We'll see how the teens go, though.

[JacksDaddy]

I do on occassion but at the same time, Jackson is not even 2 yet lol, so does it really even matter?  He knows when I am upset with him for something he has done and when I am not, and I think that is all I am trying to get accross at this age...

[CrazyDaze]

Yes I do and it does seem to come in waves. I also have the same problem that once I've started I find it hard to stop but I agree with Norm that it's better than hitting and seems to be the only thing that gets their attention at times. I usually feel the worst when I've had a bad day and John my 4 y/o does something that just hits me wrong and I'll start yelling at him then watch his face get that dear in headlights look and while yelling I realize under different circumstances I wouldn't care.

Then there's my 14 y/o daughter who always say she'll do something I ask but never moves or does anything unless I get the upset angry voice, not necessarily yelling but deffinitely growling. For the most part when I ask her to do something I usually put a time frame on it and say stuff like I need you to empty the dishwasher before bed. If I ask "Can you empty the dishwasher before bed?" she throws it in my face the next day that I asked her not told her so I've learned to modify my expression. That way when I'm angry that chores aren't being done it's not because I've asked and she's chosen not to it's because I've told her and she ignored my authority.

Respect my authoratay!

[iDad]

Welcome to the reality of parent hood. yelling in my book better than hitting and sometimes thats all that gets their attention ifyour concerned about to much yelling then step back and see the whole picture before you say a word everyone yells .it's almost a normal stage of parent hood lol imo

[Some call me Norm]

A question, does anyone else yell at their kids?

I'm not looking for justification, because I don't like when it happens. And often it seems to go in cycles; I won't yell for a while and then there will be bouts where it feels like that is all I am doing. I don't like doing it, and when I am in the middle of yelling I find it hard to stop. I know it doesn't solve anything or help solve the problem at hand. When I get to the end of my rope there are times that I just don't know how to keep clam enough to not yell.