Topic: Irritable Pregnant Wife - Please Help

[runthrubland]

All very true, my biggest problem is when she cries, I can handle all the yelling in the world. crying kills  me.

[Ramblin' Dad]

My wife's mood was all over the board. And yes it is hormones. If it is getting to you, I suggest you wait for a calm and share your feelings about having your head bit off for no reason. Do it gently and let her know that you love her, but need her help to get through her hormones and that you are there to help her too. This worked wonders with my wife.

[Dadof7]

Hormones, worry, Motherly instinct or fear of not having one.... many things can make a woman that way during pregnancy it just depends on how the woman reacts to these things that makes it different for each one. The cause is not as important as the effect.

You NEED TO LET IT GO! Bring it all up later... keep a journal and talk it all over when the time is right if you absolutely have to. But you need to jump through every single hoop placed in front of you.... just make sure she knows it is because you love her and their baby and not because you fear her.

You CAN NOT LET HER STAY MAD OR IRRITATED! Do everything possible to avoid this, do what ever it takes... be her little Bi&ch if you have to! I DID! If you let her keep it up then her blood pressure will become dangerous. It will affect her health and the babies moods after born! If he/she spends most of his/her time agitated with increased adrenaline in its blood do to constant fighting then the baby will be born into those same tendencies. He/she will be moody/irritable and cry more than usual....

If you find it hard to talk to your wife (most interrupt you when they are mad) then write a letter and leave it for them when you leave the house... when you get back then you can calmly talk it out... make sure you tell her that she needs to try and keep calm even when she is mad or sad or it can effect the baby.

What ever it is that she wants you need to make sure she gets it.... her emotions are going crazy as the baby causes endorphin and other mood altering hormones and chemical reaction ions in your wife. She is simply not reacting well to all the changes to her mental, chemical, and physical self.

On top of doing everything for her that she asks for you need to appeal to her emotional needs as well! Take her to the beach or a movie or what ever it is that she enjoys... show her you love her and are not embarrassed of her "body" and so on... ROMANCE ROMANCE ROMANCE!

a pregnancy can be a thing to remember or regret it is up to you the man to make it what it will be. This can be the worst thing you ever go through as a couple or it can be the best things you have ever experienced. Either way the end result is the same... a baby...  You can expect things to get back to normal afterwords but it is unlikely to happen if she thinks you did not support her when things were hard for her.

SIMPLY TRY AND UNDERSTAND. Keep it in mind at all times that she is pregnant and has something living inside of her... think of it like invasion of the body snatchers lol... she is not herself.. but she is watching.... she will remember everything afterwords...

Your happiness as a family is in your hands bro... take care of it cause she could care less at this point... she is focused on one thing and one thing only.... the babies health... and getting that sucker out! It is up to you to think of everything else.

also keep in mind that real soon she is going to have trouble sleeping so will have even less patience... things are going to get worse before they get better... just keep your eye on making things as happy as you can ok... this being her first time she will be worried about everything... but she may not want to admit it to you.

[jasonstiller]

My situation is similar to redneck. My wife was fine thru our 1st (her 2nd) pregnancy. I wasnt there for the last 2 months aond babys 1st 3 months due to a deployment to iraq. The 2nd pregnancy, she let me have it often. It pissed me off OFTEN, but gave me more time to play videogames till late at night ha ha. Just relax. Some women were born to breed and they love being pregnant. Others cant stand it. I sure they are quite uncomfortable (understandingly so) Thats one thing us guys will never know THANK GOD HA HA HA HA

[RedNecK]

so true!  another thing... me & my wife have 2 rules... no matter how mad we are... we always say I love you and kiss each when leaving the house for any period of time... you never if it will be the last... and never go to bed angry ... if it can't be worked out before bed... then someone is losin' some sleep until it's settled... and these 2 rules i beleive actually help our marriage... we fight... but mainly about stupid stuff... maybe 3 serious fights since we've known each other..

[Aftrthought051]

I think like everyone else has said, this is just an ackward time in your wife's life and you will understand it even less then her.  Sometimes my wife would just cry for no reason.  One time we went out to eat w/ my family at an italian restaurant and she ordered speghetti.  I told her that she should try something else, that I could make speghetti for her at home, I turn back around and she is bawling in tears.  WTF!!  Then my family tells me what an insensitative jerk I am.  When the wife and I fought, we would just seperate, chill out and then come back together.  We usually would both apologize, but sometimes she would still be mad (at whatever) and say, "you should be".  I would always try to make light of the situation though.  But I'm like that, I'll try to make someone laugh at a funeral.  So I'm easy to get along w/ also, not many people don't like me, I usually just don't like them, but they never know.  So anyway, I digress, separate though.  But remember, this is only because of the pregancy and the hormones, this is not how to solve fights on any other occassion, but stress from your wife affects the baby.  Understand that you know nothing of what is going on in her body, and neither does she, I don't care how many kids she's had.  She'll look back at fights y'all had during the pregnancy and be like, "yeah, why did we fight?"

[RedNecK]

Well cuz, I think I can help here... i've been married for 5 years and i've got about 3 weeks before my 3rd is born.  the oldest is my wife's from a previous relationship, but i've been around for 2 of them.  So our 2nd child she was happy go lucky... great mood all the time... of course she would cry at the drop of hat, but in a good mood about it...crazy.. now this one... is way different!  I give my wife tit for tat... unless i'm in the wrong and know it and willing to admit to it!  She snaps... I snap back and let her know that I'm not gonna take her crap cause she's in a foul mood and just wants to gripe at something... but there are rare cases where she needs to vent and i'll let her say what she's gotta say and by doing that helps her out alot... but she also isnt' only blowin' on me... she's short with the kids and when they are in the wrong... get on to them... but when they are not and the kids leave the room mad at her ... then i get on her case about it... but anyway... to contradict myself... most of what's going on right now .. you shouldn't take to heart... they speak off the top of their head without even thinkin' of what they are saying.... their body isn't even their body anymore at this point and for the first underneath all the excitment... she is scared to death... it will go through everyone's mind about what could happen to the baby before the baby gets here... and alot is just goin' on in that head of hers right now.... so best advice I can offer you is to just role with the punches but when she steps over the line be quick to set her straight, but at the same time let her know that you are there for her to vent any issues she may be feeling right then... sorry if i've jumped around but i'm in a rush about to head to work... hope this helps cuz

[joey791]

myrtle every woman is wired differently during these times and its probably just hormones. If shes starting to show that shes pregnant she may be secretly worried about how you see her and that will make her even more wired up. Sometimes its tough bro but stay with it, the rewards are endless.

[z_randy]

Hey there Myrtledr.  I feel for you.  The irritable thing is probably the result of the hormones if she wasn't like that before.  Unfortunately probably the worst thing you can do is fight back because it pisses them off more. (my wife got pretty irritable).  And yes it feels like your marriage is falling apart.  What you need to do as Tat said is talk to her.  After she calms down talk to her.  My wife used to feel it coming after I told her what was going on and she could corral it.  Basically you need to "take it like a man" so to speak.  But also keep an eye on her.  Watch out for signs of post partum depression after the baby is born if the hormones are flying that much now.  She should also mention it to her doctor at the next appt (if she's aware she's doing it).  The Dr can also keep an eye on her and maybe recommend something.
The marriage-as-partner will be back.  More then ever when the little one arrives.  You will need to have it back!  Cause that little person will wear you out!
Good luck and keep your chin up. 

[dadof2b0ys]

My wife was all over the place with the mood swings for our first. One minute she is happy and content, next she was yelling about everything. Most of it you just gotta let it go.

[TattedDad]

Hey man, sorry for your troubles. My wife was great almost all the way through the pregnancy but there were a few very heated areguments. It really is a hormone thing and it can even continue after the baby is born. All I can tell you is that you just need to eat it and keep your cool, then when things cool out...try talking to her about it and let her know whats going on. I am sure others will chime in too.

[myrtledr]

I need some advice from the fathers out there.  My wife is pregnant with our first child.  At about the three-month mark, she started blowing up at me all the time.  We're into month four and it's still nonstop.  I'm the kind of guy that rarely raises my voice and am not used to heated arguments at all, so her explosions almost take my breath away.  I feel shell-shocked afterward.

The thing is, it's not just that she gets mad, I get perplexed, oh well, that's just how men and women are.  I really feel like my marriage is suffering from this.  I also am not letting her get away with it, which I know is probably a terrible idea.  I know I should probably say “yes, dear” but I feel I have to call her on it for blowing up at me for no reason (which of course means I argue with her).  This is our first baby and I don't want the kid to grow up seeing dad get pushed around by mom, and dad just giving in (like I've seen in so many other families – I don't want that).  I feel like if I just roll over when she explodes, then I'm just enabling that behavior and my marriage-as-partnership that I've enjoyed so much will slip away and never return.

Is this constant irritability really a temporary thing related to hormones?  (Notice I don't call it “moodiness” - no mood swings here, it's always bad.)  Will she get back to “normal” after the baby is born?  Should I really just roll over and take it?