Author Topic: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child  (Read 12004 times)

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Offline z_randy

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10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« on: October 14, 2011, 02:49:05 PM »
Link: http://www.allprodad.com/top10/parenting/10-ways-to-discipline-your-child/

    The Do-Over
    Everybody deserves a second chance right? If your child has shown a lack of respect in some way, give them the option of a “do-over.” Send them out of the room, and have them start all over again. In most cases, the second time around will be much more appropriate.

    Zip it
    Children have a knack for saying all types of off-the-wall things. Sometimes they go too far, and feelings might get hurt. Sometimes, it’s just a lot of noise. Speaking can cause a variety of troubles that requires discipline. Losing the privilege to talk for a specific time is a great tool to curb these situations. Have them zip those lips and learn how to be respectful towards others.

    Let them win
    Every single issue does not need to be a battle. If you are constantly at odds with your child, resentment can breed, and ears can eventually tune out. Sometimes, it’s best to let your child “win.”  For example: Your child might not dress for school exactly how you would like. They are within a standard of decency, but not quite your taste. Yet, they are making excellent grades. If your suggestions on how they look are met with resistance, it may be OK to let it go. Your child will appreciate having some authority over their own life, and learn how to give and take.  Pick your battles.

    Take a breather
    Every parent’s best friend is the “breather.”  If your child screams at you, screaming back will only worsen the matter. Send him to his room and create a cooling off period. Just make sure he doesn’t take his iPod or cell phone!  Then approach him when he has calmed down and talk through the matter.

    Use the rod rarely
    “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”  We all know this ancient wisdom, but it must be used with extreme caution.  Many studies have shown that using violence, even in a mild form, only creates fear and may do nothing to better a child. It can be tough at times, but always keep your composure. If need be, walk away. Using your mind, and not always your hands, might be the best way to discipline.

    The “I told you so”
    Your child has known a project was due for 2 weeks. It is the night before, and she is in a panic. You warned her a week ago not to wait until the last moment, but it happened anyway. She is now pleading for you to assist her. Do not help her and let her experience the result of her actions. It will be embarrassing for her the next day at school when her project pales in comparison to others. Maybe it will mean a bad grade. This will teach her far more than you having done the work for her. You can say to yourself, “I told you so.”  Just don’t say it out loud.

    Compromise
    Every child has things he does not want to do. It could be brushing his teeth, going to bed on time, or taking a bath. Of course all these things have to be done and the daily battle can become a drag. Try a little compromise instead of always verbally forcing them. When “Son, it’s time to brush your teeth” is met with an escape down the hall, grab his favorite toy and say “Mr. Rex is coming with you, so he can brush his teeth too!”  Suddenly it has become fun, and your son is happily brushing his teeth with Mr. Rex by his side. Compromise and improvise when appropriate.

    The Take Away
    Every child has something near and dear to them. It is not underhanded for that item to come into play if needed. Favorite stuffed animals, cell phones, gaming devices, etc. can all be used to your benefit. If your warnings have fallen on deaf ears, take an item away for a stated time and let your child once again learn that actions have consequences.

    Grounding
    The time honored classic. We’ve all been there, and so will your child sooner or later. It is not easy to tell your big, brown-eyed daughter she can’t go to the movies with her friends or to the school dance. Be strong! Whatever it was that got things to this point was dire enough that a strong response was called for. It won’t be pretty, but it’s your job, and it is just one of many things she will thank you for later in life.

    Prevention
    “Head ‘em off at the pass,” the old cowboys used to say. As a parent, you most likely know your child better than they know themselves. Use that insight to stop potential problems before they ever occur. Talk openly with your child on a daily basis. Reward her for the many great things she does. Praise her with lots of love for her achievements. Building a high level of trust and understanding with your child will prevent a great deal of issues that would require a discipline tactic. As the saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”.



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Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2011, 10:07:01 PM »
Thanks for posting this Randy.  It is itonic because Quinn's school had a seminar on this subject for parents the other nite.  It was based on the 1-2-3 Magic discipline system.  something that we are giving a shot. 

Basically it is on the premise that parents spend too much time talking when disciplining.  What you do is give a warning, then count 1.... Don't say anything else, of they continue, say 2... Then nothing more, on the third strike they sit in timeout (time based on age, 1 minute for each year they are) as they get older start taking stuff.  when they come our of timeout, you speak no more about it.  Certain acts are an automatic 3, serious offenses like hitting.  If the kids are both going at it, then they both get the same numbers.

Results can be seen almost instantly.  And there is a lot less yelling at the kids.  There is a second disc to be watched, have not seen it yet, but it is based on meals and bedtime.  Anyone looking for a new discipline technique should check ithem out

Offline Keith

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2012, 05:02:50 PM »
These are some GREAT points to go by when parenting!

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Offline keetedw

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2012, 05:14:27 PM »
I've found, regardless of the method used, patience and consistency is the key.

Some methods work with some kids and not others...some methods won't work at all.  I think it comes down to the personality of the child and, in many cases, the parent.

Pick one, give it a chance, tweak if necessary, and abandon if it's not working.  I think it's less effective to use a system that doesn't work or barely works if there are other options that haven't been tried.
 

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Offline Ramblin' Dad

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2012, 12:49:11 PM »
All great info!

Not sure about the spare the rod part, but that's ok because I don't use a rod. I find a cat o' nine tails works better at getting their attention. Just remember though it is only one flog per year of age.  :devil:

On a more serious note. I like what BD Keith said about not explaining too much. I think that is one of the weaknesses I have. I have a propensity to ramble on saying what I am thinking, especially if I am frustrated. If you want a great definition for frustrated, look up ADHD parent.  :hairpull:
 




ch along

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2012, 02:21:38 AM »
I've found, regardless of the method used, patience and consistency is the key.

Some methods work with some kids and not others...some methods won't work at all.  I think it comes down to the personality of the child and, in many cases, the parent.

Pick one, give it a chance, tweak if necessary, and abandon if it's not working.  I think it's less effective to use a system that doesn't work or barely works if there are other options that haven't been tried.

Yes, I do really agree to your opinion Keetedw because I only have 11months old baby boy but really have an attitude already he gets what he wants and his mother give everything.  So in my side as first baby it's okay  but I think I need to do something.  Thanks a lot also for opening this topic I can get a lot of information.

 :beercheers:

kindledad

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2012, 08:25:24 PM »
My son is only four months old, so discipline is still a ways off.
I was raised with a very strict father, and i am sure i will be more forgiving than he was.
There is some good advice but when it comes time to punish the child i wonder if it will be easy to heed it.


Offline keetedw

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2012, 08:35:11 PM »
I've found, regardless of the method used, patience and consistency is the key.

Some methods work with some kids and not others...some methods won't work at all.  I think it comes down to the personality of the child and, in many cases, the parent.

Pick one, give it a chance, tweak if necessary, and abandon if it's not working.  I think it's less effective to use a system that doesn't work or barely works if there are other options that haven't been tried.

Yes, I do really agree to your opinion Keetedw because I only have 11months old baby boy but really have an attitude already he gets what he wants and his mother give everything.  So in my side as first baby it's okay  but I think I need to do something.  Thanks a lot also for opening this topic I can get a lot of information.

 :beercheers:

I hear you.  It's infinitely more difficult if your spouse or partner is not in line with your methods of discipline.
 

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Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2012, 09:30:08 PM »
Just to give you guys an update, we have stuck with this program, and seldom get to 3 before they stop doing what they were doing.  It seems to be working.

Offline Ramblin' Dad

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2012, 11:07:10 AM »
Just to give you guys an update, we have stuck with this program, and seldom get to 3 before they stop doing what they were doing.  It seems to be working.

Sweet! It's always nice when you go to/take a class and take the material, use it, and it works. Thanks for sharing it.
 




Offline Keith

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10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2012, 09:40:18 PM »
Glad to hear that it is working out for you Keith. It won't work for every child but I'm glad that it is working for yours.

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2012, 09:53:01 PM »
I got 2 sons ( 9 and 15) and both of them are giving me such a headache with regards to their behavior and attitude at home and at school. As what keetedw said "patience and consistency is the key" that is indeed correct. Being consistent with the rules and  how you discipline your kids is the key for them to grow to be good citizens. For them to develop the sense of value of things and respect towards other people. And they also need our support and unconditional love too.  :sigh:

mjmac

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2012, 11:18:58 PM »
Older post, but great topic. (especially after this evening)  We have tried the 1-2-3 method as well...seems to work for a while (and very good during the 2's and 3's).  Now that we're entering the 4 y.o. stage with my oldest son...he sort of (thinks he) knows how to manipulate the system...so we use this initially with him and throw in a 'surprise' once we hit '3' every now and then which requires him to cough up some of his most prized Matchbox cars.  (That seems to do the trick and he's a bit more cautious about reaching 3 now...not knowing if it will land him in timeout or losing some more 'friends'. (On the topic of talking too much during disciplining...guilty as charged.  My wife and I strive for brevity...but often the frustration part keeps the jaws moving)

CoffeeKev

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Re: 10 Ways to Discipline Your Child
« Reply #13 on: September 28, 2012, 03:18:41 PM »


Quote
On a more serious note. I like what BD Keith said about not explaining too much. I think that is one of the weaknesses I have. I have a propensity to ramble on saying what I am thinking, especially if I am frustrated. If you want a great definition for frustrated, look up ADHD parent.  :hairpull:

I am with you man I can get too far into the philosophy of the moment, and next thing I know my sons eyes are glazed over like a piece of canned ham :tongue:. I gotta know when to shut up. And what do ya know? It all works out in the end.

 



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