Author Topic: Sports humor thread  (Read 36718 times)

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Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #420 on: January 25, 2012, 11:37:03 AM »
Detroit Tigers' Team Nutritionist Resigns

David Restovich resigned today as the team nutritionist of the Detroit Tigers, a position he had held with the team for 17 years.

“I don’t have another job lined up. I don’t know what I’m going to do, to tell you the truth,” said Restovich, a married father of five. “But I obviously couldn’t stay here where my expertise would not be used or appreciated.”

The nutritionist’s resignation comes less than 24 hours after the Tigers signed Prince Fielder, adding him to a portly roster that includes Miguel Cabrera, Jose Valverde and Gerald Laird.

“A nutritionist for the Tigers in 2012 is no different than being a Conestoga wagon salesman in 2012,” said Restovich. “In fact, it’s probably worse. The Tigers could actually use Conestoga wagons to haul all of their fat-ass players onto the field each inning.”

Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski wished Restovich well but says he wasn’t surprised to receive his resignation.

“Even before this team went from pleasantly plump to morbidly obese, it was kind of absurd for us to have a nutritionist,” said Dombrowski. “Our team owner founded Little Caesars pizza. Free, all-you-can-eat pizza is all around us. All a nutritionist for this team can really do is go around to guys in the locker room and say: ‘Hey, maybe don’t drink more than 12 garlic butter containers between innings’ or ‘don’t run the bases with your mouth full.’ I doubt that is even close to what he hoped his career would be like when he got into this field.”


 

Offline Bill

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #421 on: January 26, 2012, 08:19:35 AM »
:LMAO: " ‘Hey, maybe don’t drink more than 12 garlic butter containers between innings’"


Offline z_randy

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #422 on: January 26, 2012, 11:13:38 AM »
:LOL!  That's great! 



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Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #423 on: May 15, 2012, 12:20:26 PM »
I thought that taking a dump on the ice was cause for an automatic ejection.



 

Offline z_randy

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #424 on: May 15, 2012, 02:39:55 PM »
I think it depends if it was in the crease or not



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Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #425 on: December 10, 2012, 11:10:59 PM »
Today In Revisionist Sports History
Dec 10 1971

In one of the worst trades in baseball history, the Mets send Nolan Ryan to the Angels for Jim Fregosi. Fregosi would go on to hit 32 home runs and collect 318 hits over the remainder of his career, while Ryan would total just two home runs and 72 hits.


 

 



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