Author Topic: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!  (Read 5124 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Pimp_daddy

  • Guest
child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« on: February 06, 2006, 10:13:18 PM »
well heres a run down on my story.. my daughters mother and i were never married... her mom had her house repo'd and care repo'd the end of '04. so she had to move to kentucky where her parents left.. before i let her go i got a court order to get some kind of custody put in place.. judge rules every other week, for a week.. so we've been doing that for over a year now.. well she desides she no longer wants to work.. so she gets on welfare... and now pays 20 dollar a month for a brand new 3 bedroom apartment.. doesn't have to pay for any water or electricity.. and also gets 450 dollars in foodstamps a month..  on a side note.. she has 3 children total.. only 1 by me.. only 1 <mine> ever sees there dad... so back to my story.. we split custody.. but because shes on welfare.. i have to pay her 142 dollars a month... please.. someone tell me HOW is this fair.. i have to pay not only for the stuff she needs while i have her.. but also insurance.. AND PAY her mother to take care of her... OMG state of TN KISS MY @SS!! :(

Offline davidAZ

  • Does anyone need a Devil's Advocate? Anyone? *tap tap tap* Hello! Is this thing on?
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 1352
  • Liked: 0
    • Associated Content Articles
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2006, 10:28:12 PM »
This surely doesn't seem fair.  $142 a month can add up, but it seems like that figure could be worse.  I'm sure you've put plenty of fight into it, but what if you asked for receipts in return?  Could you require the courts to verify that your money is being spent on your child?  How old is your child?

It sounds like an ugly situation, but think of it this way, $142 a month is cheaper than daycare.
PS3 Online ID: davidAZ
Games Playing Online: Madden 07, Resistance: Fall of Man, Fight Night Round 3

Pimp_daddy

  • Guest
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2006, 10:38:36 PM »
well its court ordered.. so what i hear.. the 142 goes to the state.. the state still pays her THE SAME amount of money for her welfare every month.. 300 dollars...  so its like my money goes no where.. and deffently isn't spent on my child...

she will be 2 in march... and what sucks.. i still have to pay for daycare.. 2 weeks of the month while she is with me.. so i'm paying 180 a month for daycare.. and paying her mom 142 dollars a month.. for what.. just cause she doesn't want to work..

the courts said to me.. "Its not fair for the child to have a greater income while she is with you, and a lesser income while she is with her mother." WHAT IN THE HOLLY HELL!!! how is that fair to me!

Offline davidAZ

  • Does anyone need a Devil's Advocate? Anyone? *tap tap tap* Hello! Is this thing on?
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 1352
  • Liked: 0
    • Associated Content Articles
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2006, 01:26:20 AM »
that sucks!  where is the motivation for the mother to go to work?  i wonder if the courts would have different rulings in different states.

you might want to investigate the legal issues within your state further.  the internet is a great source of information.  look up the procedures for welfare payments and child support and look into the rules.  there is going to be lots of reading and paperwork, but there must be something.  you might also consider a lawyer.  the key here is to summorize your problem and to present it to the right people.  there may be loopholes that can be used to help you.

There are lots of questions that you should have answered for you clearly:

What happens if she remains unemployed for 6 months, a year, or longer?
Is she receiving help from family or other sources that is going unreported?
Is she receiving child support from the other fathers?
What happens if you receive an increase of income?
What happens if she receives an income in the future?
What happens if you mail her a packet of McDonalds applications on a weekly basis?

if the laws are still protecting her, then consider writing a detailed letter to your state representatives.  the local government is sometimes helpful when it comes to people abusing government money.  the welfare she receives is there for her aide, not for her lifestyle.

i've known people who have leeched off the system designed to help needy people.  you're not going to change their mentality, but this is really about the kids.
PS3 Online ID: davidAZ
Games Playing Online: Madden 07, Resistance: Fall of Man, Fight Night Round 3

Offline Keith

  • I have Civil War balls; they're blue and gray
  • Administrator
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 14233
  • Liked: 77
  • Need any help? PM me.
    • DaddyPlace.com
  • Children?: 4 -- Tyler, Tanner, Kaydence, and Kambria
  • First Name?: Keith
  • Location: Tennessee
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2006, 07:25:50 AM »
Sorry to hear about your situation Pimp_daddy.    Here is my latest story from the State of Tn.

http://daddyplace.com/forums/index.php?topic=100.0


My ex-wife isn't working at all either, getting people to take care of her.   She hasn't paid me child support since like last Oct. or Nov.   If it wasn't for the state she wouldn't pay me anything.   She has no morals or responsibility.   I haven't sent the kids to see her since last Nov.  She has no place to live and where she does stay I don't know the person she is staying with, so I don't send the kids.    I was lucky enough to get custody of the kids and she is supposed to get them every other weekend.  Also, she is supposed to pay me $350 /mth.  So, I lucked out and I am very thankful for that.   You could try to get full custody by telling the courts you could provide better for her and give her a more "stable" lifestyle.   The word "stable" should defiantly be used..  The courts seem to love that word..   

Be thankful that you have shared custody and try to see if you can get full custody.   You sound like a great father and it also sounds like your child would have a better life with you.   I wish you luck.



Great Deals for dads on child products, check out Daddy's Deals
Looking for baby names?  Check out the Baby Name Wizard book
New Dad and have questions?  Check out Be Prepared - A Practical Handbook for New Dads.  Recommended by dads.

Pimp_daddy

  • Guest
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2006, 05:06:42 PM »
yeah it sucks :( 

bumrocks

  • Guest
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2009, 12:22:49 AM »
I went through a similar circumstance in CA.  At the time we were each given alternating weeks.  No child support was issued for either.  This is what was explained to me.  At the time of the judgement both parties were able bodied working parents with similar income.  If at any time something was to happen in which someones income was to change somewhat dramatically then there could/would be a change in potential child support.

So it sounds like unless something has happened to her physically and she is actually unable to work then yes you are responsible.  It sounds like that is not the case in yout/her circumstances.  Looks like you are getting screwed cause she is lazy...I feel for you.

I would ask someone in the know questions in regards to this.

Offline keetedw

  • Nos Audietis!
  • Global Moderator
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 1979
  • Liked: 34
  • Children?: 1
  • First Name?: Keet
  • Location: Anchorage, AK
  • Xbox Gamertag: KeetAK
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2009, 01:56:10 AM »
The child support system is flawed from the word "go".  The newest rules were put in place to prevent parents from making deals like, "If you give me custody, I won't make you pay child support", as well as to be able to use it as a form of blackmail, especially for parents that don't work.

But they took a flawed system and just made it flawed in other ways.  The most disturbing aspect of the entire system is that they can make decisions based on nothing resembling facts.

In Alaska, child support amounts to 20% of your net income.  If you split custody and both parents make the same amount of money...well...SOMEONE's going to pay, so there's a $50 minimum (maybe $25, but I think it's $50) and more often than not, the father gets stuck with the bill.  Your ex remarry and have more kids?  Your support could go up because additional children cause a financial hardship on the parents, which negatively impacts your child...so you have to pay more.  Even if the new husband makes good money.  Last I heard, you almost had to get a judge to sign off on including the new husbands income when figuring child support.  Also, say your income is equal, the case worker could still determine you have to pay more for any reason they determine.

Honestly, it's disgusting.  The ex and I separated a year and a half before the divorce was final (it was ugly...I'll never forgive her for that year and a half) and now that the divorce is final and we have split custody, the child support office is still processing our paperwork.  As of April 1, they had just begun processing paperwork submitted in the month of SEPTEMBER.  So I have how many months to wait before my payments are adjusted?  At least it's retroactive (in theory).

The list goes on and on.  Don't pay?  Your children can sue you for back support.  Lose your job?  You still have to pay.

So...yes...impossible system that frustrates me to no end.  And no...I'm not bitter at all.   :biggrin:
 

"Some people feel the rain.  Others just get wet" Dylan/Marley

jlfarris

  • Guest
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2009, 09:33:08 AM »
It's a joke out here too.  I'm right now hit because of my ex being on welfare years ago, back when I wasn't making squat.  I got custody in 2001, and had to pay off some back support due to an incompetent boob of a lawyer I had in the initial divorce.  I get that paid off, and the State of Nebraska sends me a new bill.  We fight and scratch with them to find out what the hell this is, and the best they give is a vague answer that she was on welfare years ago, so I have to pay some of that back now.  Of course, when she was on welfare, I was making less than 20K a year, and now I'm making over 50K.  It feels like Nebraska just threw this at me because I had the gall to make a better life for myself and my kids (remember, I have custody of them).

The greatest irony here?  My dad was a deadbeat that Nebraska never enforced.  They were still sending my mom letters asking if she knew where he was 5 years after he died.  She gave them the address of the cemetery.

Offline Adrian's Dad

  • Cinema
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 2926
  • Liked: 0
  • Children?: 1
  • First Name?: Cody
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2009, 09:47:29 AM »
so she gets on welfare... and now pays 20 dollar a month for a brand new 3 bedroom apartment.. doesn't have to pay for any water or electricity.. and also gets 450 dollars in foodstamps a month

Damn, why the hell am I sitting here at work?

Offline Keith

  • I have Civil War balls; they're blue and gray
  • Administrator
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 14233
  • Liked: 77
  • Need any help? PM me.
    • DaddyPlace.com
  • Children?: 4 -- Tyler, Tanner, Kaydence, and Kambria
  • First Name?: Keith
  • Location: Tennessee
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2009, 10:16:49 AM »
so she gets on welfare... and now pays 20 dollar a month for a brand new 3 bedroom apartment.. doesn't have to pay for any water or electricity.. and also gets 450 dollars in foodstamps a month

Damn, why the hell am I sitting here at work?

Exactly.   That is who our government helps!   It doesn't help the hard working people!

Great Deals for dads on child products, check out Daddy's Deals
Looking for baby names?  Check out the Baby Name Wizard book
New Dad and have questions?  Check out Be Prepared - A Practical Handbook for New Dads.  Recommended by dads.

Offline rob_ferg

  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 802
  • Liked: 0
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2009, 11:24:51 AM »
This surely doesn't seem fair.  $142 a month can add up, but it seems like that figure could be worse.  I'm sure you've put plenty of fight into it, but what if you asked for receipts in return?  Could you require the courts to verify that your money is being spent on your child?  How old is your child?

It sounds like an ugly situation, but think of it this way, $142 a month is cheaper than daycare.

the only experience I have had with child support is when my oldroommate had to pay his ex...it was taken right out of his paycheck...and she used it to support her and her boyfriend who didn't have a job.  i don't know how many times she called him asking for more money for the kids...which he always gave.    he luckily now has full custody.

I like where DavidAZ is going with his statement regarding verification--if there isn't a way to do it, there should be... It would make sense that the money should go into a seperate account and every few months, the recipient of the child support should have to come up with receipts to show that the money was indeed spent on the child.



Offline keetedw

  • Nos Audietis!
  • Global Moderator
  • Big Daddy Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 1979
  • Liked: 34
  • Children?: 1
  • First Name?: Keet
  • Location: Anchorage, AK
  • Xbox Gamertag: KeetAK
Re: child support and we split custody.. THIS IS WRONG!
« Reply #12 on: July 02, 2009, 01:21:52 PM »
Sadly, they don't have to prove where the money goes.  For all you know you could be making her car payments (the court would say it's to drive your kid around), or on her makeup, or for expensive bottles of wine.

Fact is, the court doesn't care, nor do they enforce it.

Just recently I received a letter from the child support office saying I had to show proof of insurance for my daughter.

2 things bothered me about this request:

1 - I submitted an application to change my child support allotment because I've gone from no custody to split custody.  That paperwork was submitted March 31.

2 - They sent me the same letter three times...all postmarked with the same date.
 

"Some people feel the rain.  Others just get wet" Dylan/Marley

 



Sitemap Multimedia Forum
Daddy's Deals DP Daily News Blogs
EBooks Donations Contact Us
Daddyplace Constitution