Author Topic: Sports humor thread  (Read 36856 times)

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Offline Frobozz

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Sports humor thread
« on: September 15, 2009, 08:15:32 AM »

After throwing for the game-winning touchdown against the Bills in the final minute, Tom Brady signals up to Gisele Bundchen in his box that he wants her to bring home a few extra supermodels after the game.


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2009, 07:44:12 AM »

Injured Giants receiver Hakeem Nicks crutches away from the bench, tired of everyone asking him if he accidentally shot himself in the leg.


 

Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2009, 11:09:28 AM »
 :LMAO:

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2009, 07:47:53 AM »

"You see, Serena, the problem is that if you tried to shove the f--king ball down her f--king throat, it would get f--king stuck right f--king here."


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2009, 04:58:05 PM »

Adrian Peterson displays the foot he snapped off of a Detroit Lions defender while making a move in the second half.


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2009, 08:56:55 AM »

Plagued by scoliosis, members of the Miami Dolphins cheerleading squad remind us once again that those with severe spinal abnormalities can still be beautiful.


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2009, 02:51:02 PM »

Plaxico Burress enters his sentencing hearing flanked by his attorney, Benjamin Brafman, and holding the person he wishes had handled his case.


 

Offline z_randy

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2009, 03:35:37 PM »
For that one the headline just needed to be "Plaxico Burress"



Every day, from here to there,funny things are everywhere

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2009, 08:03:42 AM »

"How does it feel? Does it hurt bad enough that our fans will have an easy excuse for why we lose in the playoffs?"


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2009, 07:25:38 AM »

Michael Vick proudly shows fans that he is no longer mistreating dogs, but is instead keeping humans as pets.


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2009, 07:59:24 AM »

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo patiently waits for play to resume while Carolina Panthers players huddle around an iPhone looking at pictures of Jessica Simpson's breasts.


 

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2009, 08:31:08 PM »
---

Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

---

Q: Why is the Oakland football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

---

Q: What do Billy Graham and the Buffalo football team have in common? A: They can both make a stadium of 50,000 people say "Oh, Jesus."

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A football coach was asked his secret of evaluating his new recruits. "Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that run round the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run straight into the trees, I turn into linemen."

---

Q: What's the difference between the Green bay Packers and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios belongs in a bowl.

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Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
A: Four blokes watching a football game.

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The Definition of an optimist: A Buffalo Bills fan waiting at Buffalo Niagara International Airport for the Bills to return from winning the Super Bowl.

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Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. -- George Will.

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The L.A. Rams have a new line of cologne. It's a little different though; you wear it and the other guy scores.

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Q: Why does John Elway eat his cereal from a plate?
A: Because he's lost all three of his bowls.

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After spending all day watching football, Jimmy fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. "Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to 7" He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"

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Know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could'nt be used?
No matter where you sat, you were behind a Pole!

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Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night
A: Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

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What do you get when you cross a defensive lineman with a prostitute? A quarter-ton pickup.

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Why can't John Elway use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
---
Nobody can eat fifty eggs. Except for Takeru Kobayashi

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2009, 09:53:43 AM »
Reports: Obama traveling to Denmark in support of Kenya 2016

According to reports circulating widely throughout right-wing blogs and talk radio, President Obama is flying to Denmark to make a last-ditch pitch to the IOC for Kenya 2016 -- not Chicago 2016 as the White House stated. "Michelle Obama may be there for Chicago because, as far as we know, at least, she is from America," reads a post on the influential right-wing blog PerfectPundit.com. "But it's all smoke and mirrors stuff. It's cover for Barack HUSSEIN Obama to really campaign for Kenya 2016. In addition to destroying America, it's been his lifelong goal to bring the Olympics to his homeland. That has long been obvious to anyone with a brain. And with America now near ruins because of his actions, he is moving onto his second goal of the Olympics in Kenya." While the blog entry stated that Kenya does not have an official 2016 entry, commenters quickly noted that only further confirms the real truth. "Everything HUSSEIN does is in secret," wrote commenter Freedum76. "If he's not going to admit the big stuff like how hes a TERRORIST, hes not goin to talk about the small stuff like wanting to bring the olympics to his home country of africa either." The PerfectPundit post has been quickly picked up by larger right-wing news outlets who have all noted that the White House has "curiously" not responded yet to the reports. Meanwhile, former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has begun promoting her upcoming book, stating in an interview that Obama's link to Olympians deeply concerns her. "There he goes again, pallin' around with drug users," she said.


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2009, 08:24:38 AM »

Men in Colorado spray champagne to mark the first day of Rocktober, a regional celebration held every other autumn.


 

Offline Frobozz

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Re: Sports humor thread
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2009, 08:24:30 AM »

The Pittsburgh Penguins celebrate their third Stanley Cup banner, at the same time regretting that they contracted the company who hung the Cowboys Stadium video boards.


 

 



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