Author Topic: im a single dad  (Read 4317 times)

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Re: im a single dad
« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2010, 01:56:08 AM »
he didnt wont to be there

Offline MindBender

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Re: im a single dad
« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2010, 08:20:44 AM »
Having Been in pretty much the same situation as you are in at one point or another....  I have one piece of advice for you.  It is the single most valuable thing you can do during the difficult situations you are in currently or may find yourself in the future.  The valuable thing you can do to protect yourself and your child  is to simply Document everything, and I mean everything, no matter how stupid it looks or sounds to you.  If it has to do with you, your child, and your ex.  Document it!!  Document if shes late to pickup, drop or anything else for visitations.  If your ex does it and you more or less know about it Document it.  Then when it comes to Documenting times you have your child and how many days its been since your ex last seen your child etc, should be documented by yourself and a third party, so its verifiable outside of you and your ex.  With the third party simply documenting on a calendar "childs name" in care of father today, and maybe comment on random things in their notes.

We as father's don't quite sit as high on the parental totem pole as a mother, but we get a little bit more each passing day.  We have to cover our asses where mothers don't have to and having everything documented and presentable in court can be the most powerful tool we can use.

When my situation had me as the non-custodial parent and 3 months into that arrangement, my ex started leaving my daughter in my custody from the court set 16 to 20 hours a week, to me having my daughter for 24 days one month, followed by 25 days the next month, 27 days for month and then we had January, and on the 28th of the month  I called her and nicely explained to her it was either time for her to sign over custody or its off to court we will be going.  At, first my ex was all ready to fight me in court but then she was shown all the documentation, I had and she willingly signed over custody 10 days later....  My documentation was quite possibly borderline insanity, but I not only had everything I was documenting, I also had my 80 year grandmother documenting everything. I also, had my cousin's husband whose a sheriff's deputy come and Document every day my daughter was in my custody he noted times, and he'd note random things and note them as well..

 I still have everything I documented and still document the silly shit my ex does almost 6 years later for example two weekends ago I not only documented this issue, I also called my ex and had to remind her who is charge when it comes to our daughter and her safety and welling is to be the most important thing.   I had to discuss my ex taking my daughter "shroom hunting"  and then address the issues of drinking and driving when my daughter was in the car with them, so after asking her about drinking alcohol and driving with my daughter in their care. 

Well, anyway I've rambled on more then enough after being inactive for months that I'll shut-up now...  With full time college and the everyday Single Parent Duties, I haven't been able to make it to this incredible community as much as I would like but I'm gonna try and be more active then I have been....


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Re: im a single dad
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2011, 04:13:45 AM »
It really takes time to resolve such problem, and its not wrong to be happy again. Before you start dating, make sure you have made a total break or legal separation from your ex. Obviously if you have children and you are not the main carer, you may or will need to have contact. But try and make your new life as free as possible of your old but never forget your responsibility to your son.

You can find help on this site: laws on divorce
« Last Edit: February 09, 2011, 09:48:23 PM by devaughnclyde »


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