Author Topic: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!  (Read 2655 times)

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Offline Jessie

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To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« on: May 13, 2011, 04:12:47 PM »
An "oppurtunity" came into my e-mail inbox this morning and it has effetively screwed with the rest of my day since I saw it. A team is getting ready to go over to Afghanistan as part of an Agriculutral Enrichment program, here in about six months, and they need bodies. My first thought was, "Oh what an oppurtunity! I can make a lot of money and maybe even get a promotion out of this one!" It didn't take long to start wondering how my family would handle it. My wife and I got engaged while I was deployed to Afghanistan, we bought a house and had our son directly there after and by the time he was turning 2, I had one foot out the door for a "short" deployment to Iraq (ended up being 6 months, with 4 of them being boots on ground). Now here we are, one year after returning from that one and 6 months before this one would leave and God help me, a part of me wants to go! I don't mean a small part either, I would say it's 50/50...My heart is truly torn.

My wife says that if I feel that I'm doing it to help others and to be a part of something greater than myself (helping Afghanistan in their effort to build up a decent Agriculture system to survive on by providing security for the farmers and experts that are helping them) than she is 100% behind me. She also said that if it was just to make our financial concerns go away, than it wasn't really worth it. Honestly, I don't know which it is! I also have to wonder if it's just an easy quick out of the stress of everday life as a working father and husband. I mean you have to admit, it's tempting to go make some new friends, goof off like a single man, and receive praise for "just doing your job."

Any fellow soldiers or just a husband/father with some input on this topic? I have about a week to decide. It's killing me, one minute I'm dead set on doing it and the next I'm dead set against it! Even my son is making it HARD on me. At lunch, he wouldn't have anything to do with me so I began to think "well he can obviously handle life without me for a little while, all he needs is his momma." Then when I informed him that I was going back to work, he got very upset and told me "No, you can't leave!" You see, I just got back from 2 weeks of flood relief, so he's not to sure about me leaving. It doesn't help that I wear my military uniform to work...I think it makes it very confusing for him.

Offline Ramblin' Dad

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2011, 04:21:47 PM »
Wow Jessie that is a tough one. How long would you be gone? If it is less than a year it would be very tempting. Not the part about being away from the family, but because you could do a good thing for the people of Afghanistan and further your carrier by the sound of what you pasted for as little impact on your family as possible. You have the support of your wife which makes 100% difference! She can help you with your boy as far as how he feels by helping him feel proud of his dad for doing a good thing.
 




Offline Jessie

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2011, 04:27:52 PM »
Good Points Ramblin' Dad! FYI, the deployment should be 1 year (365 days) with roughly 8-9 months in country and the rest either training to go or doing paperwork to come home. Keep in mind, that training to go is done in another State so those few months of training will still be away from family with maybe one or two chances to see them during and then I should get a 2 week leave (2 weeks in good ol' USA) sometime during the middle of the deployment....

Offline z_randy

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2011, 10:08:15 PM »
Wow a year.  Man that just seems like a long time to me to be away but I understand the nature of what you do.  I travel for a couple of weeks at a time and it's very difficult for me and I can call home and do skype video calls every day.
How old is your son?  Mine's 4 and he goes through the same deal.  Sometimes it seems like all he wants is momma.  But he always comes back and needs daddy.  I'm sure your son is like that also.  Of course he will get by but I'm willing to bet he likes you there better.
Will it definitely mean an advancement?  Ramblin is right in that a wife 100% behind you is huge.  Not sure if anything I wrote is even remotely helpful lol.  But I appreciate what you do for this country and whatever you decide to do will be right



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Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2011, 10:12:09 PM »
i am not sure if you ever told me, but are you Active Duty, guard, or reserve.  Not that it makes a difference i was just curious.  In my opinion, it will always be hard for kids to understand it.  The time will go by fast as you are sure to be busy.  Personally, i do not think i would go if it were a year.  6-9 months maybe, but not a year.  I figure, i have spent 2 out of Quinn's 4 years, in Iraq, and being active duty, i know that i will have one or two more before i deploy.  If you are guard or reserve, and you know you will not have to deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan for more than 3-4 years after it, than i would maybe consider it.  Just my thoughts and i may post more when i think about it some more.

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2011, 12:28:43 AM »
i just wanted to say that i have nothing but respect for all of u dads who serve our county and do what u all do. i could never imagine the difficulty you guys deal with when u leave your families for the time that you do.. you guys are awesome thank you...
« Last Edit: May 14, 2011, 12:38:19 AM by mrsilent42o »

Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2011, 09:09:43 AM »
thanks Mike.  We are all very appreciative of the support that we get from the dads on here and from the country.  it is hard, but we do get through it.

Offline Keith

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2011, 11:28:58 PM »
That's a tough situation Jessie!

I have never had to make a decision like that, and I'm thankful!

I'm sure that whatever your decision is, it will be the right one for you and your family!   Do what you feel is right, no matter what and follow your heart.    If you go, yes, you will miss your family but if you stay you might always wonder "what if" you went.. 

Good luck in your decision!  We are here for you!

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Offline keetedw

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2011, 03:00:51 AM »
Our kids are much more adaptable than I certainly realized.  I wasn't sure how she'd adapt to split custody, but she has.  There are downs, but they're so rare and very situational (she's sick or just having a bad week).

A year would be rough, but I think Keith makes a good point.  Better to regret doing something than regret not doing it.  That's my personal opinion, of course.

 

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Offline z_randy

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2011, 08:40:11 PM »
Have you made any decision yet?



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Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2011, 11:16:11 PM »
i was wondering the same thing.

Offline Jessie

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Re: To deploy or not to deploy...That is the question!
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2011, 01:57:35 AM »
Sorry guys, I totally dropped the ball on this topic! Well I decided to go ahead with the deployment. I filled out the paperwork and asked to have it sent up that Saturday. On the following Monday, when I walked into work, I received an e-mail from a Major who happens to be another full timer in the KY NG. He was very politely informing me that he was aware of my interest and he was also aware of how depleted my shop was because of other deployments...So basically, I was advised not to pursue the matter "just yet." LOL. I was also told that I should keep my eyes open for the same mission but the next year (2013). They would love to have someone with my experience level but not until the shop was back up to strength. I'm not sure if I'm still interested or if it even matters. I say this because "rumor has it' that my unit could be deploying again in that time frame. We will just have to wait and see what the cards hold for my future.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2011, 01:59:44 AM by Jessie »

 



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