Author Topic: Tips to Step-fathering from  (Read 2605 times)

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Offline Bill

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Tips to Step-fathering from
« on: December 06, 2006, 10:39:41 AM »

1. Build a friendship with your stepchild before attempting discipline.   Be patient.  Research shows it can take up to two years before the child will be comfortable with your discipline.

2. Work as a team with your new partner to establish new house rules and methods of discipline.
3. If you feel the biological mom is being unreasonable with her child, take the side of the stepchild.  This will begin to build some trust with you and the child.
-(On a personal note, HELL NO, my personal tip here is talking with your spouse after they are asleep or when you can discuss it alone.  Parenting divided Can not stand.)-
4.Take part in family meetings and be open for suggestions from the children on chores and special tasks that need to be done.

5. Talk to your spouse in private if you feel undermined or left out.
6. Respect each other's privacy.  Knock on doors before entering.   Be an example of respect and courtesy.

Aside from number 3 which I added a personal note to, these are all very good tips.  Understand, that the children's whose lives you've come into, may have issues with listening.  Dad left, mom could have brought home someone before you too, so their first thought is "Why listen to this guy?  He'll be gone soon anyway."
My step-daughter felt that way for a long time.  Actually about a week before Nancy and I got married she asked Nancy " If you and Bill get into a fight is he going to leave too?"
Talk about heartbreaking questions.  Time to get used to the fact that you're there is what they need, mainly to get used to the idea that you're not leaving.

Offline Keith

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Re: Tips to Step-fathering from
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2006, 08:58:11 PM »
VERY good points, Bill..     Thanks!

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Re: Tips to Step-fathering from
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2007, 03:18:33 AM »
Good advise! :up:


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