Author Topic: Problems with real dad  (Read 4422 times)

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Jman

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Problems with real dad
« on: December 16, 2006, 01:33:01 PM »
 :santa: Hey all hope all is going well for every one. I just have a small question for all of ya. You see I am divorced with children of my own but heres the deal. The woman I am with now has four children age 18, 13, 8, and 6 now I have been in the picture for going on 7 monthes now and the father to two of these children the 13, and 8, wont even give them the time of day what make a man do this he does have a girlfriend and has two children with her. But how can you just forget about your children like that.

Naebliss

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2006, 01:43:05 PM »
Some people just don't care. People like that should be shot, you know? who knows why people are the way they are.

Jman

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2006, 01:54:54 PM »
Ya your right it just drives me crazy to see it done like it is I mean he didnt even respond to his divorce paper and hell hes got a damn good job and all but its like his girlfrend runs his life. I mean the last time the kids saw him was just before the fourth of July and the 13 yr old got to stay with him for a week and when we went to pick her up he kept the rest of the kids including her again but when he brought them home he told his son who is 8 that he could come and stay for a week on his nextdays off and wont even call. What makes it harder is the 8 yr old now thanks that we dont try and call and is saying he wants to talk to his dad but the last time we tryed his phone had been disconected.

Old Skool 64

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2006, 01:55:13 PM »
 :yeahthat:

Goes back to that old saying, " Any idiot can make child..."

Offline Keith

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2006, 06:23:47 PM »
Jman..  I wish I could answer that for you.   Truth is.   getting a woman pregnant doean't make you a father,  it makes you a sperm donor..... You have to "earn" the right to be called a father and some guys just don't "get it".   My only purpose on this earth is to raise my children.   I might do a good job at it....and I hope I do..   But I'm sure I will mess up some too...   That's part of parenting..

But never seeing your children..  That's just wrong and he doesn't deserve for them to call him dad..   He deserves to be called ASSHOLE!

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Offline Bill

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2006, 10:15:39 PM »
Sometimes the only thing you can do is let them try and fail.  The 8 year old wants to talk to his dad, give him the number that you have for him and let him try it and hear the disconnected message.  Possibly if you want to, let him try to 411 his dad's number, maybe he has a new one.  Sometimes the only way to answer their questions is to let them answer the questions themselves.  Don't be "I told you so" just let him know that you've made the attempts and they aren't working.

Unfortunately, some men aren't men at all.  There is nothing you can do but help to catch the 8 year old when he realizes that dad isn't there.  That's the best I can tell you.

Let him try, if it works great, if it doesn't work, be there for him.  But don't tell him that you'll never do that to him because you don't know where the relationship is headed.


Jman

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2006, 10:44:14 PM »
Very good idea thanks for the help the next time he says anything about it I will do that and see what happens and go from there. Again thanks again and Marry Christmas to all

GhostX

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2007, 02:17:58 PM »
:yeahthat:

Goes back to that old saying, " Any idiot can make child..."

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad.

Madd_Mike

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2007, 02:31:39 AM »
:yeahthat:

Goes back to that old saying, " Any idiot can make child..."


:LMAO:

andrewsdaddy

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2007, 01:25:14 PM »
wow i know exactly how you feel, my son just turned 6, his real dad doesnt ever see him, he only calls when its convenient and he never wants to talk Andrew all he wants to do is bitch. I myself use to beg the guy to try to make an effort cause i seen what it was doing to Andrew and i grew up just ike that but it made no diff. eventually i learned to just let it go. when my son goes to sleep at night im the guy who tells him i love him, when he brings home his fathers day gifts from school, he gives em to me, and when he graduates from school ill be first one right there to shake his hand. Children are smart, sometimes smarter then most adults, he knows what going on, and he knows its not us he keep him from his dad but his dad that keeps himself from him. Always remember that it isnt blood that makes a dad but love. if you ever really need to talk about stuff like this, i know im new here but ive been a step-dad no scratch that ive been a dad for a very awesome 3 yrs  ~o)

Offline Keith

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2007, 02:06:32 PM »
wow i know exactly how you feel, my son just turned 6, his real dad doesnt ever see him, he only calls when its convenient and he never wants to talk Andrew all he wants to do is bitch. I myself use to beg the guy to try to make an effort cause i seen what it was doing to Andrew and i grew up just ike that but it made no diff. eventually i learned to just let it go. when my son goes to sleep at night im the guy who tells him i love him, when he brings home his fathers day gifts from school, he gives em to me, and when he graduates from school ill be first one right there to shake his hand. Children are smart, sometimes smarter then most adults, he knows what going on, and he knows its not us he keep him from his dad but his dad that keeps himself from him. Always remember that it isnt blood that makes a dad but love. if you ever really need to talk about stuff like this, i know im new here but ive been a step-dad no scratch that ive been a dad for a very awesome 3 yrs  ~o)

Excellent post Andrewsdaddy..   You are gonna help out alot of people here...   

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mr liggett

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2010, 09:19:02 PM »
2 of my 5 girls are sted=kids and it's both the oldest 8 and 6 now i been there step-dad for 5 years now now tori the 8 yr old is and always been a daddy's girl even though her dad is in and out of jail never calls or only spends time with them when he wants and thats not very offten but she is slowly starting to see what is going on now for 5 years i been called steve by them well a few weeks ago when tori found out her day was in jail again she's been calling me dad now i aint the kinda guy who realy shows his feeling but the first time she called me dad my wife said i had a tear in my eye told her it was just dirt and to put her glasses on but knowing that for 5 years i raised her and her sister the way i was raised rules and all and to see it pay off by being called the one thing she has only called one person and knowing when she has a bad dream i'm the one she comes to and i'm the one that teaches her how to play basketball and i'm the one she comes to when she hurts herself and wants to know somthing i am her dad and i am proud to be her dad and to be the father of all 5 of my girls (lord help me when they hit the teens)  any way game on man theres no dif from real dads and step dads it's not the name or a title it's who is there for them it's who they look up to and it who is always there no matter what aight i'm out .

this has been a Mr liggett rant if you like it then cool if ya dont then go mute yourself cus i dont care love peace and chicken grease

PaulMck

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2010, 09:36:20 PM »
thats awesome man. I have 3 girls two of them step daughters (10 and 7) and im only 23. so im not the best with kids and i was raised tough and thats how i am with them. their dad was an illegal mexican peice of shit that skipped out of the country to keep from paying child support. calls once a month and lies to them. the oldest one believes everything he says, she is very gullable, the youngest doesnt really buy into it. I never lie to them about anything, no matter how crude or upsetting it is i lay everything on the table even if they might not understand right now. they call me dad in some situations like at school stuff and to their friends, but to them im "Paul" some day i hope they will call me dad. i do all their school stuff with them. its only been about 3yrs. im hard on them but they'll understand some day and i think it will all pay off. my only problem is that i can get too mad sometimes. im young and dont know how to handle it. you have any advice?

mr liggett

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Re: Problems with real dad
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2010, 11:22:00 PM »
well i have a temper to i find that when they get mad send them to there room and you go outside and do what ever calms you down me i go to the shop and work on my truck when i'm calmed down then i go talk to em and decide whatgs gonna happen :whoa:

 



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