Author Topic: Positive discipline tactics  (Read 8623 times)

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Offline z_randy

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Positive discipline tactics
« on: July 05, 2007, 08:34:07 PM »
For the Dad's with Toddlers or Toddlers to be from Babycenter.com

Disciplining your child doesn't mean punishing him; it means teaching him right from wrong. When you're faced with a situation that requires intervention, don't just think about how to reprimand your child. Instead consider how you can use the opportunity to help guide your child toward behavior that's appropriate. This isn't always easy, especially if you're angry, but by giving your child something positive to work toward, rather than just a negative to avoid, he'll be more respectful of you and others.

What you can do
Among the "positive" approaches that often work with toddlers:

• Do as I do. Children imitate adults, so if you show good behavior, your child will take your lead. If you want him to say "please" and "thank you," be sure to use those terms with him and others.

• Speak respectfully. Your child is more likely to listen if you talk, rather than yell, and if you make eye contact with him.

• Tell him what you want rather than what you don't. For instance, say "Touch the kitty gently," instead of "Don't hit the kitty!" Or, "Please sit down," instead of "Don't stand up in your chair."

• Make some simple rules. Establish a few household rules, communicate them to your child, and enforce them consistently. Don't expect your toddler to know better. Simple rules that protect health and safety, such as no running in the street and no hitting, are reasonable for toddlers to follow. Don't give him a long list of "don't touches." You're better off keeping things like the VCR and your fine crystal out of his reach.

• Reward the positive. Positive behavior will continue and even increase if your child gets attention for it. "Thanks for sharing that toy with your sister," is one example, or "Wow, you put your cup on the table."

Other developments: New fears, banning biting, sticking to routines
Your toddler's blossoming imagination can lead to a host of new fears now. Insects and water are two common ones. Don't try to talk your child out of his fears with statements like, "There's nothing to be afraid of; bugs can't hurt you." For starters, it's not true — some bugs bite and others are dangerous — and it dismisses your child's feelings. The best approach now is to acknowledge your child's fears and stay calm yourself. Say things like, "I know you don't like bugs. I'll move that one away from you." If you're afraid of bugs, too, resist the urge to screech and run away. Your toddler is watching your behavior carefully, and you could inadvertently set the stage for a lifelong fear. If water is the problem, you can encourage your toddler to dip his feet in at the edge of the ocean or pool, but don't force him. You want to keep his interactions with water pleasant.

Has your toddler started biting? Toddlers bite for a variety of reasons, and understanding why may help you put a stop to it. Some children bite because they're curious and wonder, "What will happen if I bite my friend?" Others bite when they are frustrated, are angry, want attention, feel threatened, or simply want to imitate something they saw a playmate do. Toddlers also tend to bite when they're teething, since the pressure of biting can relieve some of the pain of emerging teeth. If your child has a history of biting, you're probably aware of the situations that provoke it. If he bites out of anger or frustration, your job is to intervene before he gets to that point. Offer solutions to the problem. Saying things like "Here, let me find you a toy to play with" reinforces the rule that hurting other people is not okay.

Establishing — and sticking to — a schedule for napping, eating, and going to bed can help your toddler feel more secure and in control. Routines can also make your life easier. If your child knows what to expect every day, you'll probably encounter less resistance when it's time to transition from one activity to another. A regular way of doing things can also keep you from having to take time to plan each day separately.



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Offline Keith

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2007, 08:39:29 PM »
Excellent post and read Randy...   

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Swoffords Dad

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2007, 08:40:08 PM »
Excellent post randy, ths should be a sticky IMHO.

Offline z_randy

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2007, 08:41:10 PM »
Sticky it is!



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Offline Frobozz

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2007, 09:46:09 AM »
So waterboarding is no longer acceptable??


 

Offline z_randy

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2007, 12:30:43 PM »
So waterboarding is no longer acceptable??
Depends...are they joining a terrorist cell?  Then I think it's OK LOL



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Offline z_randy

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2007, 02:11:28 PM »
Ways to avoid spoiling your kids

Set clear, simple limits
Think of it this way: If you leave no room for reinterpretation, you save yourself arguing later. Listen to the difference between "Oh okay, you can have a cookie..." (plenty of room for hope that a second one might be okay) and "You can have one cookie, but don't ask me for a second one. This is it."
Stick to those limits no matter what

One really means one. It's happened to all of us: We say no to more than one cookie, and then we start second-guessing ourselves. The trick here is to take a long-term view. Maybe a second cookie really would be okay just this once, but do you really want to be second-guessed every time you set a limit? That will happen if you change your story.

Never give in to begging
This one's simple — once you do, you've taught your child that begging works, right?
Make your child convince you
If she wants something you're not sure about, ask her to make a case for it. She wants to watch a favorite TV show? If she explains that all her homework is done and she's practiced piano, you can feel comfortable saying yes.

Require that chores get done before fun
You don't do your child any favors by being a softy. Studies show that being strict on chores and responsibilities helps him develop the ability to cope with frustration.

Don't be afraid to disappoint
We hate to see our kids sad, but the Stones said it best: You can't always get what you want. And studies show that learning to accept disappointment will give your child important coping skills to deal with emotional stress later in life.

Let them work for what they want
Many experts believe that kids become spoiled when things come too easily, encouraging them to take those things for granted. If your child wants a new bike, set up a reward system for good behavior and let him earn it bit by bit.



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ccross1565

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2008, 08:49:45 AM »
Very good post, I think those tips are the basis that everyone should follow by.  My parents (not knowing I'm sure) but demonstrated good use of those tips while I was growing up, I have (or would like to think) good work ethics, am respectful of others, have will power and motivation to do things, and have worked for everything that I've wanted.  on the other hand (my wife) was raised by getting a lot of what she wanted, granted she is respectful of others, she wasn't showed good work ethics and that if she wants something that she has to work for it, nothings free (easy) in life, we all know this....

qingdaotodd

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2008, 06:17:25 AM »
yes, I read ever something like that in Chinese. The most important is kids always do what they see from people. Of course the people they see the most of time are their Moms and Dads.
Always trying to talk to your kids like they are your friends, this will defenitely help.

Offline BigLuv

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2009, 09:58:39 AM »
for the record i come to this post freq, and get ideas for diff situations

Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2009, 12:22:59 PM »
this is the first that i have seen this thread, and i am glad i did.  Lots of good informative stuff.

(Newbie Question: WHat is meant when you say this is now a sticky?     And also, how do you pick certain sentances to quote as opposed to a whole post)

LSUFAN61

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2010, 09:00:41 AM »
A quick note.....I suggest reading up on and definitely learning the art of redirection.....also as they get older always look for those teachable moments....they come along more often than you may realize....

Offline Big daddy Eis

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2010, 10:50:26 AM »
awesome posts on here, i am glad this is a sticky

Offline plano tony

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2010, 11:14:01 AM »
A book I've read several times which has helped a LOT (since I have all daughters) is: "She Calls Me Daddy" ...
If nobody is going to bleed to death within the next 12 seconds, calm down there, Cowboy.

Offline vegaskiller73

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Re: Positive discipline tactics
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2010, 12:22:48 PM »
A book I've read several times which has helped a LOT (since I have all daughters) is: "She Calls Me Daddy" ...

I think a few dads on here wished they had the "OTHER" version. :ROFL:



 



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