Author Topic: Step-dads and real dads  (Read 3602 times)

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andrewsdaddy

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Step-dads and real dads
« on: July 20, 2007, 02:25:38 PM »
For all you step-dads.

€First off when stepping into the role of father understand it is a privilege to be a father but it isn't easy, not one bit. First make sure that its what you really want, the last thing you want to do is make more instability in a child's life that is already unstable. Though I was young, and still am lol, it was a major decision to be apart of a child's life, I got to know him before me and his mom even made it an official relationship and in doing this I also knew what I was giving up, I was no longer aloud to just do whatever I wanted but I also knew what I was getting in return, it's now been 3 years and i never regret a moment.

€Second understand you have to work twice as hard as a regular father, the child wasn't born with unconditional love for you so you have to earn it, I know that might sound a little harsh but your dealing with a kid, lol, and if your genuine it can be alot easier. Also don't buy the child's love, though it may seem like they like you, which is about all the will do, they wont love you are respect you.

€Third never and I mean never bad mouth a child's biological father around them, now I know you say "O I don't do that" but sometimes its very easy to let it slip and that means even putting yourself in a position that makes a child think you are trying to make yourself look better then there dad lol if ya understand what I mean, doing these things will cause a child to look at you as an enemy.

€Fourth being a step-father and taking on that role means you now have a responsibility to discipline just like loving them. If you never show them any discipline they will not respect you as a father.

€Fifth always spend as much time as you can with them, they will need as much attention from you as they can get especially if there bio-dad has pretty much abandoned them. This also means if you have other children do not ever favor them over our step-child. Doing things like showing love more to one and not another or treating a step-child like thats all they are is a step-child even if they don't like you or show they like you, can be so emotionally damaging that it can be hard to come back from and don't know about you but I could never leave a permanent scar on a child's emotion.

€Sixth and this one is important, as much important as the other five, try as hard as you can not fight with your spouse in front of your step children, this will cause them to instinctively choose sides and the i'll almost always choose their mom making you once again the enemy.

I tell you all these thing based on my experience as a step-child to many since i was 4 and now as a step-dad myself. My best advice lead with love. and always remember your dealing with children who have done nothing wrong but have had the unfortunate luck to be apart of a broken home.

If you ever need some advice from me i'm always free for a chat.  ~o)

Offline Keith

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2007, 02:34:35 PM »
Excellent post and advice.    Thanks!

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andrewsdaddy

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2007, 02:37:14 PM »
thanks, this place is pretty cool, its actually alot harder then you would think find other dads willing to talk and give advice lol.

Offline Keith

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2007, 02:40:47 PM »
thanks, this place is pretty cool, its actually alot harder then you would think find other dads willing to talk and give advice lol.

That is exactly why this site is here..     Now somehow to tell the world that Daddyplace exists.   LOL    Tell every dad you know.   :)

Great Deals for dads on child products, check out Daddy's Deals
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andrewsdaddy

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2007, 02:46:16 PM »
well lol my gf is very involved on cafe moms and other sites, she said she was going to let everyone know about this place for me so i hope i can help and get more dads here and involved.  ~o)

Offline Bill

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2007, 11:55:34 PM »
well lol my gf is very involved on cafe moms and other sites, she said she was going to let everyone know about this place for me so i hope i can help and get more dads here and involved.  ~o)

I guarantee Keith just had a joygasm at that thought.  Welcome to the site by the way Andrew.


andrewsdaddy

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2007, 10:30:20 AM »
lol thanks

Offline Keith

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2007, 09:42:46 PM »
well lol my gf is very involved on cafe moms and other sites, she said she was going to let everyone know about this place for me so i hope i can help and get more dads here and involved.  ~o)

I just had a joygasm when I read that.    :LMAO:

But also..   Tell her that Daddyplace has a "sister" site just for moms..    It's www.takeabreakmommy.com      My wife runs that site...

Great Deals for dads on child products, check out Daddy's Deals
Looking for baby names?  Check out the Baby Name Wizard book
New Dad and have questions?  Check out Be Prepared - A Practical Handbook for New Dads.  Recommended by dads.

andrewsdaddy

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2007, 12:06:06 PM »
oh she'll love that thanks.

Offline Keith

  • I have Civil War balls; they're blue and gray
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  • First Name?: Keith
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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2007, 09:01:25 PM »
No problem..    And tell her to post..  That site needs some active users..   :)

Great Deals for dads on child products, check out Daddy's Deals
Looking for baby names?  Check out the Baby Name Wizard book
New Dad and have questions?  Check out Be Prepared - A Practical Handbook for New Dads.  Recommended by dads.

andrewsdaddy

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Re: Step-dads and real dads
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2007, 10:51:22 PM »
no prob.

 



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