Author Topic: My sister may be adopting soon...  (Read 2777 times)

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Offline Jessie

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My sister may be adopting soon...
« on: August 20, 2007, 05:06:03 PM »
My sister has been married for about 4 years now. Her and her husband have never had children and about 1 year ago, my sister had to go in for an emergency hysterectomy. As many of you realize, this means she no longer even has the option of having a child of her own. As you can imagine, it has hurt her a great deal (I imagine more than any of us really know) be 24 (when this first happened) and realize that you can never have a child of your own. Anyway, she told me recently that her husband and her were thinking about looking into adoption once they get their finances straight. I immediately thought it was a wonderful idea. Now I'm just curious if there is any advice I could give her.

Offline Keith

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2007, 09:12:40 PM »
Not much advice from me.   But I think that it is a wonderful idea!   There are alot of children out there that need good parents.  It sounds like your sister and her husband would make great parents..   

About there finances..  Don't worry about it.   I do know that I have heard that you can get a pretty good tax credit for adoption..  But I don't know the specifics..

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oj467

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2007, 02:55:15 PM »
One bit of advice I can offer (and I'm not nitpicking) is to not refer to it as "having a child of her own" - especially if they move forward with an adoption.  An adopted child is just as much "a child of your own" as a biological one - and that phrase can be hurtful to some adoptive parents. 

I can't tell you how many times folks have said something like "so you couldn't have kids of your own?".  Luckily I'm pretty thick skinned and most stuff rolls off my back - but I know the whole "child of your own" phrase can get some adoptive parents pretty riled up. :)

The adoption tax credit is approximately $11,000 (and change) now - far less than the cost of most adoptions - which range from $20k to $35k depending.  Don't go into an adoption thinking you're going to make out financially - because you're not.

AM Woody

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2007, 02:59:11 PM »
A saying that has gone around my family is "If you wait until you can afford it to have kids, you'll never have them"  Kids are expensive..But worth every penny

oj467

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2007, 03:01:14 PM »
Indeed!

Offline z_randy

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2007, 03:07:52 PM »
Indeed!  Not quite the same but my first was the result of IVF.  We figure it cost roughly $10K when all was said and done and that was with some insurance help.  Best money we ever spent.  If that didn't work we were going to go the adoption route.
Please let us know how it turns out Jessie.



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Drizzt519

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2007, 10:53:33 PM »
I can give no advice but I think your sister would be doing a great thing.  I was adopted when I was 3 years old.  The woman that raised me, my mother, is the greatest person in the world and she is my mother in every way but blood.  And that doesnt matter to me because I love her and she loves me.

She was in the same boat as your sister.  She had a hysterectomy when she was 24.  She didnt go through some adoption agency though.  It may be a bit weird but she is a lesbian and my biological mother was her girlfriend before I was born and after.  But my bio mom got hooked on herion.  So she steped up and went to court and got custody of me and ive been calling her mom ever since.

talkin' about it makes me tear up.  I love and respect that woman so much.

Offline Jessie

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2007, 09:31:24 AM »
Thanks for the tip OJ, that's not even something I thought of!

Z3p0l

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2007, 10:08:38 AM »
I believe that is a great idea. I too was adopted at age 11. Long story but its in my myspace your more then welcome to read into it.

Tell your sister to be patient and positive, this happened for a reason. I mean i am certained that what happenned to me happened for a reason, even though its a bit tragic but it could of been worse.

GiftedPlacebo

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Re: My sister may be adopting soon...
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2007, 02:59:59 PM »
Just something to throw out there... if they want to go a foster to adopt route, it looks something like this:

Take training to become foster parents
Get state approved
Go in as a foster/adopt foster parent
When kids who are legally free come up, you become their foster parent
You get the monthly payment from the state (practically nothing, but helps on the grocery bill)
Adopt!

The cost for going this route is very small. $150-1500 for paperwork and homestudies, and a few hundred in legal fees for the adoption. If you adopt a "special needs" foster kid (most will apply), you can claim the $11,000 tax credit. Also, you can negotiate to keep getting the state payment as "adoption support" and continue with state paid medical coverage for your child until they are 18.

 



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