Author Topic: The Proper Definition of Rank  (Read 3715 times)

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Offline Aftrthought051

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The Proper Definition of Rank
« on: September 14, 2007, 12:59:36 PM »
The Proper Definition of Marine Rank

 
General

Leaps tall buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.

Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks with God.

Lieutenant Colonel

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding B.B.
Walks on water in indoor swimmimg pools.
Talks with God if special request chit is approved.

Major

Barely clears quonset huts.
Loses tug of war with locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Captain

Makes high marks when trying to leap building.
Is run over by locomotives.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.

First Lieutenant

Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times.
Is NOT issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of Mae West.
Talks to walls.

Second Lieutenant

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings.
Says: "Look at the choo-choo."
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.

Sergeant (any)

Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance. BECAUSE...

HE IS GOD!!!

Offline Keith

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Re: The Proper Definition of Rank
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2007, 01:05:06 PM »
:LMAO:    Talks to walls.    :)

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Offline Jessie

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Re: The Proper Definition of Rank
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2007, 01:59:22 PM »
 :LMAO:

Offline z_randy

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Re: The Proper Definition of Rank
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2007, 03:42:12 PM »
 :LMAO:
Sounds a little like...Chuck Norris!

 Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"



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Offline Ramblin' Dad

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Re: The Proper Definition of Rank
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2007, 12:02:17 AM »
 :LMAO: If that ain't the truth.
 




Sanctus

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Re: The Proper Definition of Rank
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2008, 04:39:45 PM »
So true, So true!  Good one!

Daniel

 



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