Author Topic: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)  (Read 3328 times)

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Offline Ramblin' Dad

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Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« on: December 09, 2007, 04:01:36 PM »
Everyone has 'em, whether they are called sea stories or not, and a lot of them are funnier than hell. Lets share some here.  ~o)



I'll start...

I still remember my first rack-mate when I reported to my boat. I was fresh out of nuke prototype, and wet behind the ears. My boat was in Pearl Harbor and it was undergoing an upkeep (major maintenance), so I got a barracks room with one room mate (unheard of for a nub). He was a Sonar Tech and he was pretty F'n wild. I think it was my second night there and I got woke up at 0300 to the sounds of a shop vac in our room. I looked over and there was my room mate drunk off his ass vacuuming water up buck assed naked. He fell passed out in the shower on top of the drain and the shower over flowed and flooded our room. WELCOME ABOARD SHIPMATE!  ~o)
 




ChiefPttyoffcr

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2007, 09:49:51 AM »
lol....now thats a good buzz he had eh..


Upon becoming selected for Chief petty officer there is
a long time before you put the Khaki's on, giving every
other Chief-Senior Chief and Master Chief to have loads
of fun with you to "welcome" you to the club.

The worst one was this:

While you were busy drinking a case of beer with the
master and senior chiefs talking about your career
well the chief's are out buying a new complete
"toilet bowl" from the hardware store....then they
take 2 cans of vegetable soup , 2 cans of lima
beans and dump it into the toilet....after you have
had the case of beer all the above mentioned chief's
start asking you "Do you feel sick?"  , "Your not man
enough to handle your beer?" , "How the fck are you
going to be a Chief and a leader if you cant handle
your beer"  Well after assuring them that you are
not a "p****y" and you can handle your beer
just fine and kiss your arse , well after you brag
about 30 minutes how you can handle your beer
you are then escorted to this toilet , you must
eat all of the shiat inside of it ....since you
bragged about how you could handle your beer
like a man....they were kind enough to give you
a huge bucket so as it was "going in" on one end
and "coming out" on the other you didnt fck the
"Chief's house" floor up.  Considerate of them to
give you the bucket right  ~o)

Chief.

EDIT:  "Going in" on one end and "coming out" the
other I meant as soon as you look at it (the stuff
in the toilet) you are already "using" the bucket....
so as you take each
spoonful it is coming right back up instantly in the
bucket....thought I would clarify that as it could
have been perceived I meant it was coming out
of my arse.  lol.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 12:16:04 PM by ChiefPttyoffcr »

Offline runthrubland

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2007, 12:22:05 AM »
On a med float we were at sea for 79 straight days with no port calls, and finally hit port at a major party port on of course Halloween. My liberty buddy got PPPAAALLLLOOOOOWWWWEEEDDD. I had to carry him on one shoulder back to the ship. At the ship they rushed him up to the med decks, and I followed to ensure he was ok. To keep him awake the corpsman rubbed his balled fist on the drunks chest with a rubber glove on. My buddy had a very hairy chest, and the glove pulled the hair out leaving a bald spot. THe next morning in the shop he was rubbing his chest wondering whar happened to him. He then pulled his shirt up and saw the bald spot. This really confused him, until out of my drawer in the shop I pulled out rubber glove filled with his hair.

When I picked up lance corporal the top who pinned on my new chevrons drove them down so hard that they were imbedded into my collar bones.


Offline Ramblin' Dad

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2007, 02:10:38 AM »
Chief - The new Chiefs, or selects on my boat got run through the gambit too. The COB's (Chief Of the Boat) office when we were in dry dock was next to mine and I got the privilage of hearing the selecties sing In The Navy many times over, as well as other songs and initiation rights. It was pretty funny. Sorry, but it was. ~o)

RTB - I have escorted and been escorted back to the boat many times. :biggrin: Your story makes me laugh. Now can you imagine taking your buddy and getting him down a hatch that is about 30" in diameter with a ten foot ladder to the deck. It's more of an oozing fall with a thud at the bottom. ~o)
 




ChiefPttyoffcr

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2007, 12:20:03 PM »

"RTB - I have escorted and been escorted back to the boat many times. Your story makes me laugh. Now can you imagine taking your buddy and getting him down a hatch that is about 30" in diameter with a ten foot ladder to the deck. It's more of an oozing fall with a thud at the bottom."


 :LMAO: @ the big "thud" , im sure you tried your best but yea I can imagine..
trying to get down that ladder .....ouch....quite a headache they probably had
the next day lol.

Chief.

By the way , now I have the damn village people stuck in my head , tnx shipmate. lol

goinggrey

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2007, 09:43:14 PM »
well its my turn , as a new crew member of the uss peleliu l h a -5 i was a h.t on the ship. out of a school i did not know much about my field except we were welders ,plumbers,and firefighters well i also did not know about getting my cherry popped lol , i was a htfn when i found out the true meaning of our nickname (turd chaser) i had a ht2 working on a clogged drain at the bottom of the ship i asked him how were we to clear it he said easy we cut the pipe below the clog and shove a broom handle up it til it breaks loose well being 18 and very dumb i found the clog cut the pipe and proceeded hitting the clog with the broom handle i got so involved and trying to do good at my first job on ship i did not notice my fellow shipmates backing up, i knew i was getting close to breaking it free because it was slowly coming out then ht2 said this " hey tim by the way the clog is causing back up on 18 decks and as i turned to look at the clog 18 decks of sewer knocked me on my a&* and washed the tobacco out of my mouth i found out what a hemmogloben shot was from medical when i made ht1 i got the privelege of doing the same thing to another sap i mean shipmate and she did not like it to much she asked for a transfer the next day you see my ship had just became co ed and she was the first  female ht on ship she didnt even get to go thru WOG day  :rollinglaugh:

ChiefPttyoffcr

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2007, 09:00:34 AM »

lol....yes the new guys from school were a blast werent they...

I had a similar example,  but keep in mind I was a brown shoe
airdale.....anyway when I was a AKAN the AK1 (div. sup.) sent
me for a roll of "1,000 feet of "flight line"  after about an hour
being sent here and there and some "chuckles" each place I
went looking for this "flight line" it dawned on me that the
"Flight line" was where the Jets were....not frickin rope or
string....they got me good on that one...so up through the
ranks I enjoyed sending my airmen looking for the flight line
too....after all if your a 1st class or Chief then you might as
well have some fun with it....cheers, good story goinggrey.

Chief.

Offline runthrubland

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2007, 12:39:24 PM »
We liked to send the new guys out for an I D 10 T form. Most admins would play along and the FNG's would be gone like all day.


Offline Aftrthought051

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2007, 01:31:00 PM »
sent one yo yo female Marine looking for a left handed screw driver.  She was gone all day.   :LMAO2:
Next week we sent her to get the keys for the humvee, she caught on, kinda, only a half day.   :LMAO:

Offline runthrubland

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2007, 01:58:31 PM »
Wire stretcher was always fun too. One time trying to pull a fast one on an FNG he called supply looking for new teeth for our wire stretcher. The guy at supply asked "Is that a greenlee part?" We got the dude at supply more then we did our new guy.


Offline spddrcr

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2007, 05:14:17 PM »
not ever being in the military myself luckily by these stories :laugh2: i grew up as a navy brat and my grandfather also fought in a couple of big wars. my dad used to always tell the story of sending off the new guys to get a BT punch. dad worked in the engine room so a bt punch didnt sound to out of place, so the story goes they would send the new guy up topside to get the bt punch as it was quite expensive and had to be kept locked down st to not go missing. the new guy was sent to the rather large guy up top who was described as being nearly 7 feet tall and weighing in at 300 pounds pure muscle. BT as he was called was an ex heavyweight boxer, so when asked for a bt punch the person asking came away with a large imprint of the ring BT wore :devil: and then was told to go show it to the guys down below who sent him up and to tell them to knock the shit off as he was getting tired of punching new guys :laugh2:

who knows the truth to the story? i always believed him though as he would tell it at every family gathering :ROFL:

goinggrey

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2007, 09:02:16 PM »
i was friends with the capt of the ship i used to send fngs for relative bearing grease finally we told them that the capt had it put up ,i guess the capt was tired of this little joke and gave them a jar of ky and wrote relative bearing grease on it lol , the best fun i had was putting officers thru wog day that was a blast the female officers hated it but the tub of hot sauce and the pile of mess deck garbage that sat on the flight deck for a couple days was pretty fun and making them crawl around the flight deck calling for flipper that was even better or knocking the crap out of them with a fire hose oh man the tears :LMAO2: all to get the right and honor to be called shellback

ChiefPttyoffcr

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2008, 08:22:12 AM »

What to become a "Shellback" there is no more getting
the biggest fattest sailor , greasing him up and having
to suck olives out of his belly button anymore?  ~o)

And yea...the "Wire stretcher" is an oldie but goodie
as well as the "left handed screwdriver" lol...nice
memories and good stories guys.

Chief.

goinggrey

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2008, 10:02:46 AM »
yeah they said that on my final cruise that if you are a shellback congrats and for the wogs capt said he would give them a cert saying always a wog never a shellback thanks to pres clintons no hazing policy man i was looking forward to having fun with the wogs :hairpull: so the capt let us pull into thailand and he got some local girls and put on a wet t shirt contest   :flashboobs: :surprise: :drool2:

ChiefPttyoffcr

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Re: Sea Stories ** (probably will contain profane language)
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2008, 10:16:19 AM »

Sounds like you had a good Skipper, followed his
orders but still took care of his men in a way he
knew all of them would appreciate, a local wet-t
shirt contest sounds like it would take your mind
off of the shellback initiation, as im sure he knew. :biggrin:

Chief.

 



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