Author Topic: Taking offense at notmrmom.com?  (Read 2218 times)

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Offline davidAZ

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Taking offense at notmrmom.com?
« on: August 23, 2006, 01:56:45 AM »
Just thought I'd chime in on the "notmrmom" idea that was brought up in the link...

I'd quote the page from www.notmrmom.com, but I don't want to step on any toes, so take a second and read their statements and see if it can spark something here.

The basic idea is that they take offense to being dubbed Mr. Mom.  This idea kind of suprised me, because I'm a SAHD and I've found some humility in it.

First, I'd like to revist the movie that made Mr. Mom famous.  I've visited Amazon.com for some of the details so that I might work with a clear memory.  The movie was released July 1983, scoring $65 million which was big money back then.  (I was 7)  Anyway, it's claimed that this was also Michael Keaton's first starring role, and he's become one hell of an actor.

The synopsis:  When Jack Butler (Michael Keaton) loses his job at an auto factory, he expects to quickly find another. But instead, his wife Caroline (Teri Garr) starts working for an ad agency and Jack ends up taking care of the house and kids. He soon runs afoul of shopping etiquette, a voracious vacuum cleaner, and he can't even drop his kids off at school properly. He starts losing his pride and letting himself go. He stops shaving, drinks at all hours, and watches soap operas. And not only does a predatory divorcée (Ann Jillian) have her eye on him, Caroline's new boss (Martin Mull) has more than business on his mind. Will their marriage survive? What makes Mr. Mom work isn't its role-reversal premise, but its clever off-the-main-plot scenes like the obstacle course at the company picnic, where a footrace with swim fins is set to a variation on the theme to Chariots of Fire; a poker game using discount coupons for money; or a traumatic, soap-opera-influenced dream Jack has when he realizes his life is going down the toilet. This is the first starring role for Michael Keaton, who went on to star in Beetlejuice and Batman; he makes the most of both its comic and sentimental side. The script, incidentally, is written by John Hughes, who later went on to write and direct The Breakfast Club and Home Alone. --Bret Fetzer
________________________________________________________________
Now that we're caught up on the background...

Remember the year is 1983 while divorce is still pretty taboo, men go to work, and women stay at home.  This was a very different era compared to the current where divorce is fairly common and both parents tend to work.

This is also Hollywood making a scripted movie, so it'll go overboard here and there.  But Mr. Mom hadn't planned on taking the SAHD position, he's being thrown into the fire with 3 kids at various ages and expecting it to be natural.  Thus we have the comedy in that he performs plenty of housewife chores with creatively manly ways.

Who among us SAHDs hasn't been faced with this?  It's cliche, yes.  But who among us hasn't been embarrassed lugging around a diaper bag and getting puked on by their kid?  Who among us hasn't had to have a double dose of football just to get the Spongebob song out of their heads?  And who hasn't found some amusement in using a screwdriver to pry open a jar of baby food?

Do I want to be earmarked as Mr. Mom?  Not really, but I chuckle with it because it's true.  I vacuumm, dust, and wash dishes while listening to ESPN.  My daughter is being introduced to Black Sabbath, STP, and Pearl Jam while she's introduced me to songs from Elmo's World and Blue's Clues.

Why should I take offense to Mr. Mom?
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Captain Tuttle

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Re: Taking offense at notmrmom.com?
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2006, 07:48:05 AM »
I don't take offense to the term.  This is not a job for the thin skinned.  I get extra looks when I go out with the boy (although the people at the market know us by now) because we do stand out.  More women do this than men.  I think the whole taking offense thing is almost ingrained in our culture.  Call me an a$$hole or a bad father because I'm not supporting my family financially, then I'll get mad.  Mr. Mom?  Nah.  There's alot worse things you can call me.  It's silly, really.

Offline Bill

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Re: Taking offense at notmrmom.com?
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2006, 09:04:04 AM »
Cap touches on the one part that I've noticed.  I'm not thin skinned, I really don't care if someone calls me Mr. Mom.  Things I do take offense to are as follows.

One Friday (yes I think Friday had something to do with it) I was out doing the running around with the kids in tow.  My 7yr old and 4 yr old were acting particularly plucky, mainly from boredom of doing running around and not being allowed to be at a park to do some running around.  One mom (well intentioned no doubt)  comes up and says, I know it's hard to get them to listen when you only get them every couple of weeks.  (Oh I snapped)

My wife, who works full-time while I work part-time was talking to one lady recently, and told her that she works full-time while I stay at home with the kids during the day and then work part-time in the evenings.  The lady said, ohh  well that doesn't seem very fair that he "gets" to stay home all day while you support him.   Oh that's right, a woman stays home with the kids and works evenings and gets nominated for a medal for mom of the freakin year.  A man does it and it's not fair that you have to support him while he "gets" to stay home.  Oh the hypocrisy of sexism.  Only people not allowed to be sexist are men.

So you know what, I am a Mr. Mom.  I'm staying at home, cleaning, cooking, keeping track of three kids.  I make blunders now and then that my wife laughs about.  I do things she wouldn't do.  I try to carry three baskets full of laundry to the laundry room, while pushing a stroller and trying not to trip on the two bees buzzing around my legs.  Why three? Because for some reason I think it would be easier than making three trips.  Wrong.

What I am not is, divorced and only seeing them every two weeks.  Not that I find any problem with that.  If you're going to make a comment like that you better be sure though.  It's like asking a fat lady when her baby is due...
I am also not a lazy guy staying at home while sponging off my wife.  I am saving 600 a month in child care expenses while losing only 100 a week in pay.  All told we're up 200 dollars.



Offline davidAZ

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Re: Taking offense at notmrmom.com?
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2006, 01:02:22 PM »
Thanks for the input fellas!
 :donutcoffee:
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ardenfr

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Re: Taking offense at notmrmom.com?
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2006, 11:44:45 PM »
I agree with Bill, being called a "Mr. Mom"  doesn't degrade me abit. I just remember the movie and -- there's me!

My wife loves it, even though we took a small income hit with me staying at home, she gets to come home to a house she doesn't have to clean, dishes and laundry she doesn't have to do and meals she doesn't have to cook. And, I'm finally able to start whiddling on that 'honey do' list -- I just wish she'd quit adding to it!.

Yes, I get a few converations cut short , and eyes averted, when I mention that I stay home while my wife holds down a job; but, I don't let them get to me. The world is full of small minded people and I'm not gonna let them get me down.

Anyway, just thought I'd chime in....

 



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